What should I do when I feel like no one understands how bad things really are with my mental health?

It can be really tough to feel alone in our struggles. Here are three things to do that help us understand the situation better and what we can do about it: clarify feelings, identify needs, and request them. First off, feelings can be pretty tricky due to their subjective and abstract nature. For times like these, we want to shift focus on the actions that trigger them. Let's say those around you DID really understand how bad things were with your mental health. Well, how would you know? Perhaps you think they’d take the time to talk to you more. Maybe you envision they would ask questions to see how they might help, make themselves available to call and chat, or even just hug you. Thinking through this process clarifies what "feeling understood" looks like for you. It also reveals your current needs: the need for companionship, support and connection.

After you've identified these, ask yourself: am I receiving them in the ways I'm looking for? If not, the last thing to do is to ask for them from the people closest to you. That can look like the following statement: "Hey, things are really tough for me right now. As my friend, do you think you could shoot me a text every week asking me how I'm doing? It would mean a lot to me and be pretty helpful." Walking yourself through these three steps can help you understand what it is you're truly looking for and how to best make it happen.

Josiah Teng