Hyper-independence is a trauma response that makes people think that they must make decisions and accomplish things without the help of others. Although young adults and teens are often encouraged to be independent, hyper-independence is the extreme of that.

There are typically a couple signs that could mean you are hyper-independent. These can include: taking on too much responsibility, difficulty delegating, mistrust of others, difficulty with neediness, and few close or long term relationships. The most important thing when dealing with hyper-independence is healing from the root or underlying cause (typically childhood trauma). Hyper-independence is caused by prolonged or acute trauma, so processing and working through those traumas is extremely important in learning to rely on others and trust that other people can support you.

There are multiple ways to work on processing trauma. This can include individual and group therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), and brainspotting just to name a few. It is also incredibly important to engage in self care whether it is meditation, relaxation, or exercise. These activities can help you manage some of the symptoms that stem from the traumatic experience(s). In addition, developing lasting, meaningful relationships is key when trying to heal from hyper-independence. Learning to express your thoughts and feelings to a trusted person can help you learn to combat some of those feelings of not being able to trust or rely on others.

Taylor Gaffney