I feel like I’m so behind in life. How can I stop comparing myself to other people?
(Matthew Hamilton / Unsplash)
As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy! Many of us know that comparing ourselves to others will do no good, and yet we find ourselves doing it time and time again.
Here are some practical ways to stop comparing yourself to others:
Eliminate “shoulds.” The language we speak to ourselves is important. Think about the “shoulds” in your life. Why do you feel so behind? Do you feel that you should be farther along in your career? Do you feel that you should look or be a certain way? “Should” statements are cognitive distortions. Write all these statements and begin reframing them into neutral and/or positive statements.
Limit social media use. For many, social media is a common trigger for various insecurities. Although we may cognitively know people are portraying a version of themselves on social media, it can be easy to feel that we are missing something or are behind in life. By limiting your social media use you can turn your focus to yourself.
Be proud and instill a sense of accomplishment. The more you recognize the wins in life, the more you cultivate a sense of pride and confidence in your own self. Take some time to reflect on some accomplishments you are proud of and remember that small wins are still wins!
Silence the voice of critics and strengthen your inner voice. Often many core beliefs we are holding onto are internalized messages that we have received at one point in our lives from society, our families, peers etc. If you do not become familiar with your own voice it can be easy to let external voices and opinions become your own. Take the time to get to know and strengthen your own voice.
Practicing acceptance. Everyone’s path is different; practice accepting and being content with you and your life right now. It can help to have role models who have had non conventional paths.
Kathryn Lee
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