I can’t cry even when I’m upset. Is this normal?

This is an appropriate, normal response. Our brains are wired to keep us alive and keep us from harm. Sometimes our brains protect us by preventing us from feeling when we go through an experience that is emotionally charged, leading us to become emotionally numb. Many individuals who are diagnosed with mental health conditions such as depression may find themselves experiencing numbness for this reason; it is our brain’s way of protecting us from a perceived or real threat to harm.

Others may not cry as a defense mechanism; this can be conscious or unconscious. At a certain point in an individual's life, he/she/they may have been taught or shown that it was dangerous to show feelings. To protect your innermost world, you learn to not cry even though you may be upset. Reflect on how feelings were engaged with when you were a child. What happened when you did cry? Were they encouraged? Were they discouraged? Be curious and see what comes up.

Kathryn Lee