There’s a reason that there are so many songs that speak to feeling alone when around other people. Loneliness is an emotion that is evoked from feeling disconnected, isolated, detached, and excluded from others. It can cause further deep feelings of pain, hopelessness, helplessness, and sadness, as many struggle to find feelings of acceptance and inclusivity. Although you may feel alone, I can promise you that you are not alone in this experience. As humans are social creatures, we crave connection, companionship, and community. To help you cope, let’s break this into strategies that you can use to cope on an emotional level and then on a social level as well.

Emotionally:

Perhaps the most important piece is to constantly practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness. Even if it is a common, recurring thought, there is nothing wrong with you for feeling lonely. Treat yourself kindly as you are navigating these emotions.
Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to hold space for yourself and your feelings. Your feelings are valid and deserve to take up space within your life. Feel them authentically and provide yourself with an outlet to process them, whether that is therapy, journaling, or acts of self-care.
Try not to let yourself get in your head! Recognize any unhelpful and negative thoughts that may arise when you are feeling lonely and learn to challenge them. You may simply do this by recognizing that your brain can lie to you and that just because you have a thought, it doesn’t make that thought true. If you find yourself berating and criticizing yourself for example, that’s a good indicator that you need to challenge your thoughts.
Set S.M.A.R.T. goals for yourself when it comes to connection! Explore what your social interactions and relationships would ideally look like and if you are feeling motivated to make change, set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound.
Consider confiding in a trusted loved one about how you are feeling. You may be able to find support through various connections such as former friends, family members, current peers, etc.
Try to avoid self-isolating and withdrawing from others. If you find yourself retreating into your shell like a turtle would, change up your environment! This may mean leaving your room, going for a walk, or exploring somewhere new.
Speak to a mental health professional to help address your feelings of loneliness. Someone such as a therapist may be able to provide you with additional coping skills, social support via support groups, and a general safe space to heal.

Socially:

Consider using your hobbies and interests to meet other individuals that you may feel better connected to. Search online for local meet-ups and networking events that may help you meet new people! This may also mean trying a new hobby or activity that you’ve been interested in!
Try volunteering at a local organization, such as animals, to find a sense of purpose and community.
If you are a student, consider joining a study group, club, or sport to help connect to individuals who are in a similar developmental phase of life.
Explore online forums and groups via various social media platforms to bring you together with people from around the world.

Samantha Southard