There’s this tricky (and sometimes contradictory) relationship between mental health conditions and friendship. We know that having supportive friends can reduce the symptoms of mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. At the same time, mental health conditions can make it harder to maintain strong friendships. It’s not because you’re any less loveable — sometimes your symptoms just make it challenging to get and stay connected. 

For example, if you’re going through a depressive episode and struggle to even find the energy to care for yourself, you may be tapped out when it comes to your friendships. Or maybe your anxiety makes you second-guess everything you say or do with your friends. You might feel like you’ve upset them or worry that you’re ruining your friendships somehow. But there are things that you can do to improve your friendships — or the way you view them. 

Introducing our Fixing Friendship Anxiety series: your guide to managing friendships when mental illness makes you feel like you’re doing it wrong. Here’s what to do when you’re wracked with guilt and feeling like you’re not being a very good friend.