Congratulations on taking this step to start communicating your feelings and mental health struggles with your partner. It may feel very intimidating and scary to be so emotionally vulnerable with your partner, so take a second to not only validate your feelings but celebrate your bravery!

As intimidating as it may feel to have this conversation for the first time, you are going to survive this. There are several factors to take into account when having such a sensitive conversation with your partner.

Although there may never feel like there is a “perfect” time to have this conversation, try to create a warm, supportive, and encouraging environment. Go into this interaction trying to be as level-headed and relaxed as possible. If you’re apprehensive, know that it is so normal as well.
Try to talk about the mental health struggles with openness and honesty. There is no shame in admitting that you may be apprehensive to have this conversation and would like your partner to go into this with an open mind. Start simple!
When talking about different experiences, utilize I-statements. I-statements demonstrate your opinions, thoughts, and concerns from a personal perspective, instead of a you-statement that may cause the other person to feel uncomfortable, defensive, and judged. For example, there is a big difference between stating, “I’m worried about how some of your behaviors may be impacting our relationship,” versus “You seem crazy and it’s driving us apart!” Language is key!
If you will ultimately be on the listening end of this initial conversation, remember to utilize active listening. Active listening is a therapeutic tool where you are paying attention to the conversation, not interrupting or interjecting, and are reflecting back to your partner what’s been shared.
Remember that feelings are always valid, but how we respond to them may not be. Your partner is entitled to be surprised by this conversation, but that doesn’t mean that they can attack, critique, or blame you. Validation and mutual respect is an essential part of this conversation.
Respect any boundaries that may arise within the conversation. You can gently try to move the conversation further but if either of you are uncomfortable disclosing specific details because you aren’t ready, that’s okay. Conversations on mental health are not a one and done thing!

Samantha Southard