The act of self sabotaging alone is not necessarily an emotional disorder, but may be symptomatic of one. If you are concerned that your self sabotaging behaviors are a manifestation of a larger issue, I suggest you speak with a mental health professional.

That being said, most people at one point sabotaged their own efforts, whether it be a momentary instance or a persistent long-term pattern of behavior. At its core, self sabotaging often acts as a defense mechanism. This behavior can be a self fulfilling prophecy fuelled by a fear that even at our best we are not good enough. It makes us question our worth, value, capability, and who we intrinsically are as people.

Because self sabotaging behaviors are developed unconsciously, self awareness is key in understanding and stopping your self-sabotaging behaviors. Identify core beliefs that your self-sabotaging behaviors challenge. Do you feel that you will never be in a healthy relationship? Do you feel that you cannot do well in your work and procrastinate to sabotage your chances? Do you feel that you are in control of the outcome when you do self sabotage? Notice how, when, and where your self sabotaging behaviors specifically manifest.

As you begin to gain a higher awareness of your behaviors, begin to process those core beliefs. Often self sabotage comes from a place of perfectionism, high standards and expectations. Process and see where you may have received and internalized these messages. Developing and cultivating a deeper understanding and empathy will allow you to create and set more realistic goals and actionable steps.

It may also be a good idea to document your progress. This is hard work! It can be easy to give up and be discouraged by the perceived lack of progress. Recognize and celebrate the victories.

Kathryn Lee