While shame and guilt are sometimes used synonymously, it is important to understand their differences, especially in the context of mental health and recovery. Shame is identity-based and attacks who you are as a person. It sends messages like "I'm broken," "I'm not good enough," or "I'm a bad person." Shame leads you to internalize mistakes or failures as a reflection of your worth. Guilt, on the other hand, is behavior-based. It stems from recognizing that you did something wrong—"I did something I'm not proud of." While guilt can lead to accountability and growth, shame often keeps people stuck in cycles of self-blame and self-punishment. In recovery, healing from addiction often coincides with healing from shame.

To begin overcoming and healing from shame, learn/practice self forgiveness for past decisions and actions. Acknowledge your mistakes with compassion knowing that you were trying to cope with the knowledge and resources you had at the time and let go of the self-blame that keeps you stuck. By practicing self-compassion and accepting that you are a human being that makes mistakes, you create space for growth, healing, and recovery. If you are finding it difficult to offer yourself compassion, consider how you may extend that same kindness and compassion to a loved one, friend.

For those struggling with shame and guilt related to addiction, it is crucial to have a supportive community around you. Identify safe people in your life who can offer non-judgemental support and model compassion and grace when it is hard for you to practice it. If you’re finding it difficult to find that safety within existing relationships, consider working with a therapist or joining a support group where you can connect with others who understand what you are going through. Seeking support can feel daunting, but know that you’re not alone in your experiences!

Kathryn Lee

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Shame and guilt are a common companion of addiction. While it might feel like you are the only one with this experience, you are not alone. Acknowledging these feelings with compassion and without judgment is a necessary first step.

It’s important that you begin to separate who you are from what you’ve done. Often, we connect our mistakes with our self-worth, leading to feelings of shame. But addiction doesn’t define you — it’s something you’ve experienced, battled, and are overcoming on a daily basis. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and your worth isn’t defined by them.

Practice self-forgiveness by treating yourself with the same kindness you’d show someone you love and care about. Think of all the things you’ve been through, and give yourself credit for the steps you’re taking now to change. Each small step forward counts.

If you’re comfortable, reach out for support — whether it’s a therapist, support group, or a trusted person. Talking to others can help you feel understood and carry your burden with a community around you.

Finally, set small, achievable goals for recovery. Focusing on daily or weekly progress can help you feel more empowered and less weighed down by shame. Recovery is a journey, and as you work through it, you’ll start to feel the pride of rebuilding your life.