I struggled with addiction for years and burned a lot of bridges in the process. How do I rebuild trust with my friends now that I've found sobriety?

The journey of sobriety is not an easy one so sincere congratulations on the work you’ve accomplished. When trust is lost, one of the first things to go with it is connection. In order to rebuild trust, the line of communication needs to be re-opened. When doing so, think about yourself as a sender and receiver. As the former, what kind of message would you like to send? Maybe it's an apology for the ways you think you fell short in the relationship. Or perhaps it’s a sentiment of appreciation for their patience. As a receiver, is there anything you’re looking for from this friend? Openness, understanding, or even support? Thinking and preparing from these two perspectives will allow you to restart connection from a clear and resolute place. It's important to note that while you may be ready to open up lines of communication, your friends may not necessarily. So set proper expectations and give them the space to respond at their own timing.

Once you both start talking again, the next step to rebuilding trust is through the practice of trustworthiness. Start with establishing consistent routines within the relationship. When you make plans to meet, show up on time. If life gets in the way, as it occasionally will, communicate clearly and refrain from making last minute decisions. Following through on relational commitments will allow your friends to experience your trustworthiness. From that point, actively identify ways you can show up for them, which keeps the relationship from being self-focused while allowing them to trust in your support. So, to summarize: Reopen communication, be trustworthy and invite the trust!

Josiah Teng

I struggled with addiction for years and burned a lot of bridges in the process. How do I rebuild trust with my friends now that I've found sobriety?

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