My mom has really high expectations for me in school. Even when I try my best, I feel like I’m letting her down. What are some ways I can talk to her about the pressure I’m feeling from her?

Talking to your mom about high expectations can be really scary, but you deserve to feel heard. Remember, it's okay to ask for help and support when you're feeling overwhelmed. By approaching the conversation with empathy, honesty, and a willingness to listen, you can work together with your mom to find solutions that alleviate the pressure you're feeling.

First, find a time when both of you are calm and relaxed, like a quiet moment at home, over lunch, or even a peaceful walk together. It’s important to start the conversation by expressing your feelings honestly. You can use "I" statements to communicate how you're feeling. For example, you could say: "Mom, I've been feeling really stressed with school and I feel pressure from you.” To help your mom understand, it’s helpful to have some examples of when you have felt overwhelmed by her expectations. You can let your mom know that you understand that she wants the best for you and that her expectations come from a place of love and it’s important to listen to her perspective too. Let her know what type of support that would be most helpful from her. This can be brainstorming on solutions to alleviate the pressure you feel. Some ideas could be setting new academic goals you agree with, finding a balance between school and self-care, or seeking support from a trusted teacher or counselor.

Remember, it can take some time to adjust to new expectations and adjustments may be needed but talking to her honestly is the first and a very brave step to get the support you deserve.

Crisis Text Line Mental Health Professionals Team