Why do I get sad at night?
WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN AND YOUR MOOD DOES TOO
By Jackie Menjivar
(Jeremy Bishop / Unsplash)
Sadness can strike at any time of day, but there’s something about those late night hours that bring on a special kind of melancholy (sad girl hours, as some might call them). It’s a common feeling, but it can be frustrating when it seemingly comes out of nowhere.
So why do you get sad at night, and what can you do about it? There’s no universal answer, but this is a good place to start.
Why do I feel sad at night?
Overthinking: Laying in bed before falling asleep may be the only time in your day without any distractions. When you have to sit in silence with your thoughts, you can end up ruminating on stuff that stresses you out — replaying awkward social interactions or worrying about an upcoming deadline.
Fatigue: When you’re tired, it doesn’t just affect you physically — it takes a mental toll, too. And it’s not just the occasional early morning crankiness either. You can’t regulate your emotions as well when you’re fatigued, so any feeling (including sadness) gets harder to manage.
Phone use: If you’re a chronic late-night scroller, the impact on your mood is two-fold. Artifical light exposure at night can cause a depressed mood and make it harder to fall asleep. Plus, doom scrolling through bad news or angry tweets is a surefire way to spiral before bed.
Loneliness: Humans are social creatures, and we’re at our best when we feel connected to other people. Nighttime is when you’re most likely to be by yourself, after work or school or other daytime routines are over.
Passage of time: When the day comes to an end, you may feel anxious about time passing so quickly or disappointed in how you spent it. At night, you’re also gearing up for the next day, and that can bring up feelings of dread if work or school is stressing you out.
Circadian rhythm: Your circadian rhythm is the internal clock that regulates your sleep-wake cycle. If that internal clock is off (from falling asleep or waking up at irregular times), it can cause psychological problems.
Evening-related trauma: If you’ve experienced evening-related trauma, your mind may unconsciously associate nighttime with those traumatic feelings (like if you grew up in a home where evenings were unsafe and you had to be hypervigilant). Nightmares are also common for people who’ve experienced trauma, and that can make the time before bed feel that much harder.
Mental health condition: Mental health conditions like depression can impact sleep and mood, and for some people, the symptoms get worse at night.
What can I do when I feel sad at night?
Improve your sleep hygiene. A good night’s rest will go a long way to improving your physical and mental health. Good sleep habits (AKA sleep hygiene) can help. Here are the basics:
Go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day.
Avoid electronics, caffeine, alcohol, and large meals 30-60 minutes before bedtime.
Keep your bedroom dark, quiet, and a cool temperature.
If you’re having trouble falling asleep, get out of bed and do something else for a bit.
Keep a healthy routine. Try to build a consistent routine for your evenings, especially the time before bed. Incorporate screen-free activities you can do to unwind, like reading, stretching, or meditation. This is also a good time to journal, and if you need some inspiration, here are some gratitude prompts to get you started.
Learn to gently self-soothe. Don’t judge yourself for feeling the way that you do. Instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?,'' accept your emotions for what they are. Name what you’re feeling, and keep your inner voice positive and empathetic. “I’m feeling unsettled. I don’t know why, but that’s okay. I’m safe and loved, and this will pass.” If you’re really having a hard time with overthinking, try putting on some white noise, a podcast, or an audiobook.
Address the source. If you can, pinpoint the source of your sadness. Maybe the night reminds you that time is passing, and you feel like you’re falling behind. Or the lack of distractions gives you space to think about a person you miss. Try being mindful of your feelings during the day so that they don’t sneak up on you at night.
Practice mindful rest. Our lives are so centered around doing things — working, socializing, achieving, etc. Even when you have downtime, you might feel guilty that you’re not doing more, or ruminating about things that stress you out. You can get burnt out if you don’t take time to properly rest and focus on just being.
Meditation can help you achieve mindful rest. Relax your body, breathe deeply, and release your thoughts. If a stressful thought comes up, just let it pass and then bring your awareness back to your rest. Take time to notice how comfy your bed is or how nice the air conditioning feels.
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It’s okay to feel sad (at any time of day!), but if you find yourself feeling low more often than not, it may be a sign that something else is going on. Take a free online screening if you think you might be experiencing a mental health condition, and get connected to resources that can help.