What To Do If You Aren't Ready To Talk About Your Mental Health...Yet
EVERYONE’S JOURNEY IS DIFFERENT. HERE’S HOW TO WORK UP TO LETTING PEOPLE IN.
By Kristina Benoist
Wow Tech / Unsplash
“Your mind matters. Talk about it.” You hear that a lot from us at IDONTMIND.
Talking openly about what you’re experiencing and feeling is one of the most important parts of mental wellness. Sharing things about your mental health journey can bring you closer to your friends and family and it can help you feel less alone. Opening up can also inspire other people to do the same and give them confidence to ask for help when they need it.
But let’s be honest. It can be really hard. What if you just aren’t ready? What if you just don’t think now is the right time? That’s okay! Everyone’s journey is different, and it’s okay if you need more time to get comfortable. In the meantime, here are some things to consider as you continue to gain confidence and work up to letting people in.
Remember it takes practice
Think of talking about your mental health and reaching out for help as strength training. It takes practice. Reaching out is a skill that you have to learn and keep working at. So think of everything on this list as practice to prepare yourself for opening up. Just knowing that may help you feel a little more comfortable and confident at the start.
Understand why you’re feeling hesitant
Stop and think about what’s really stopping you from talking about your mental health. Are you feeling afraid, embarrassed, confused — maybe a combination of all of those? Therapist Aimee Falchuk says it’s worth asking yourself these three questions:
Do you believe asking for help is a weakness — that you will be seen as not being strong enough to do it yourself?
Do you believe that if you ask for help you will be burdening or bothering others?
Do you feel like you don’t know exactly what you may need so it keeps you from asking?
Start considering who to talk to
You don’t have to be ready to talk to someone just yet, but it’s worth considering who will be a good listener once you are ready. Some people are great listeners and will meet your feelings with compassion and understanding — those are the people to reach out to. Really consider who is going to provide you with the most support possible in a moment when you need it.
Write about it first
When you start talking about your mental health, you’re able to take your emotions and release them into the world. That can be a really great feeling. So while you’re still adjusting to the idea of opening up to someone, it’s helpful to find another way to release the emotions or thoughts that you may be struggling with. Writing it out is the best way to do that. Start a journal, jot down a quick list of your thoughts, write a letter to yourself or someone you’re considering talking to (don’t worry, you don’t have to actually give it to them). Just find whatever works best for you and start writing!
Take a mental health screen
Sometimes it can be difficult to put the things you’re experiencing into the right words. You may have a feeling that something isn’t quite right, but you’re not quite sure where to start. One of the best ways to learn more about your mental health is to take a mental health screen. It’s free, anonymous, and available 24/7. There are screenings available for many common conditions like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and others, and each screening can help you zero-in on what you’re struggling with. Remember, your results aren’t a diagnosis, but they can give you a place to start.
Do some research
Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to arm yourself with information. When you do research and learn as much as possible on whatever you may be struggling with, you start to feel confident enough to talk about it to someone else or to reach out for help. If you’re not sure where to start, browse through our articles on the IDONTMIND Journal.
Let other people’s stories inspire you
Our brain has a funny way of convincing us that we are completely alone in our struggles. Maybe you aren’t ready to get help because you think that no one will possibly understand what you’re going through. In reality, there’s a good chance that someone else has experienced something incredibly similar. You can learn a lot from people’s personal mental health stories, and it may just be exactly what you need to start opening up. Check out some of the incredible people that have decided to share their mental health journey’s with us on the IDONTMIND Journal.
Talk to someone you don’t know personally
It can be scary to open up to someone who knows you really well. What if they don’t understand? What if they judge me? Sometimes it's easier to take those factors out of the equation and start with a stranger, someone that’s not immediately connected to you. Try a warmline if you just want to chat with someone over the phone, or you text IDM to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line if you’re really struggling and need to address something with your mental health right away.
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It’s okay if you try all of these and are still feeling a little nervous about opening up. Be patient with yourself. Remember, it’s like strength training. The more you work at it, the stronger you get. And once you do feel ready, check out Just Talk About It, our guide to talking openly about your mental health.