ASKING FOR HELP CAN BE TOUGH. REMEMBER, SOMETIMES ACTIONS CAN SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

By Kristina Benoist

It's hard to be honest and ask for help, even with your closest friends and family. Maybe we don’t have the vocabulary yet or just aren’t able to put into words exactly how we’re feeling. But the reality is, we all need someone to lean on. The easiest thing to do would be to simply ask for help, but sometimes it’s difficult to actually say those words out loud.

With this in mind, it’s important to remember that someone may be signaling to you that they’re going through a really tough time through their actions instead of their words. If you start to notice some new behaviors from people in your life, it could be the signal that they need you to check in on their mental health. Here are a few things to look out for.

They’re cancelling plans

Everyone cancels every now and then – and that’s okay! But when someone you care about continues to make plans and cancel them at the last minute, it might be because they can’t shake the bad feelings they’re experiencing. Instead of getting frustrated when someone bails, take a minute to consider that something deeper might be going on.

They’re going through a huge change

This may be the easiest and clearest sign that you need to check-in. If someone lost their job, lost a loved one, went through a breakup — whatever it is — it’s guaranteed they’re tackling some big issues. Those are also some of the most difficult moments to ask for help, and they might need you more than ever before — even if they aren’t saying it.

They’re reacting in big ways

We all lose our patience sometimes. But if a friend is snapping at everything you say or getting really angry or sad at small things, there’s a good chance they’re letting their emotions out at the wrong things. They may be struggling to cope with something much bigger in their life, but the feelings are being directed at you instead. Instead of getting defensive at their response to you, try to ask them what’s going on in a compassionate and patient way.

They aren’t able to relax

Knees bouncing, eyes darting around the room, not being able to sit down and relax — these could be signs someone is feeling anxious or unsettled. If someone’s struggling, maybe those normal things that you tend to do together feel incredibly uncomfortable. Reactions like that may be a clear sign that they’re having a hard time doing those “normal” things in their life — because they may be facing something much bigger with their mental health.

They seem tired or distracted

It may seem like they’re uninterested in what’s happening in your life, but in reality, they just don’t have the capacity to be fully present. Maybe they’re yawning constantly or they seem completely tuned out when you’re talking to them. What may feel insensitive to you, might be a sign that they’re feeling overwhelmed or burnt out.

They’re acting reckless

Maybe someone is pushing things to the extreme in every situation or not thinking about the consequences of their actions until it’s too late. Doing something reckless or acting in a way that may hurt themselves is a symptom of a lot of different mental health conditions. If these actions are continuing and seem like the complete opposite of their normal character, it’s probably a sign that they need you to check-in with their mental health.

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If these signs feel familiar, try and reach out to them in a kind, compassionate, and patient way. Offer an ear and full-hearted acceptance to them. Listen if they’d like to talk. Ask them how you can help and reassure them that you care so they feel supported. If you feel like you still need a little guidance on how to reach out to them, try using IDONTMIND’s Just Checking In.

Remind yourself that all you can do is your best to invite the change you’re hoping for them to make. Maybe your loved one just needs someone to talk to them about what’s going on, and you starting the conversation is the best first step. If your friend needs professional help, your words and help may come back and inspire them to take that step.

6 Subtle Cues Someone You Love Needs Help But May Be Too Scared To Ask