What It Takes To Find A Therapist That Gets You And Your Identity

3 EASY TIPS FOR ANYONE TRYING TO FIND AN INCLUSIVE THERAPIST FROM EXPERT MELODY LI

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We want to feel validated and understood in therapy. You walk into a session and anticipate a therapist responding in a way that takes into consideration all of the different aspects of what makes up your identity. 

For a lot of people, that’s not always the case. 

So, how do you find a therapist that can actually empathize with and advise you on all aspects of your mental health struggles? The founder of Inclusive Therapists, Melody Li, shares with us a few key things to keep in mind as you start your search to find a therapist that can address all of the complexities of your identity in an affirming and responsive way. 

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1.Expand your search

Even in the hardships of COVID, which disproportionately impacts economically disadvantaged communities, the one good thing that's come of it is the increase of telehealth accessibility. That's, of course, assuming people have access to secure Internet service. But what that does is it actually expands a person's options when looking for a therapist because rather than having to see a therapist that lives near them. 

Now, in the United States, therapists are able to practice in the entire state that they're licensed in. So for people that may live in rural areas, for example, now their accessibility to finding a therapist within their state is a lot wider. So we can expand the search now. 

2. Find your people

I believe in the healing power of community. Don't feel that you have to go through this alone. Your wellness matters. Your health matters. And  I hope that you're able to find a community, a community of people that can relate and hold space for your experience. So see if you can find a like-minded community where you can feel safe, where you can feel known where — even if that’s on social media or a Facebook group. Community could be online. Community could be in your place of worship. Community can be on your sports team if you are able to play sports right now. So try and find your people. 

3. Interview your therapist 

I’d like people to remember that you have the power to interview your therapist and you have the power to decide if you allow them to work for you. You're the expert. You're the boss here. So it could be helpful to take some time to write down specific questions that you may want to ask. Your questions can be: ‘So this is something I've experienced in the past. What's your reaction to what happened and how may you have tended to that differently?’ And that way they can really meet you in the here and now. They can pay attention to the needs that you have that are really important, that have been dropped in the past. 

So it’s all about being clear about what you want in a therapist. Maybe even write down what you want to ask the therapist. A question I always like to ask is what personal racial identity work the therapist has done. It's important so that they can hold space for me because it is not just about me. It's where are you starting here as my therapist? 

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Inclusive Therapists provides a directory that makes finding a therapist simple and safe, especially for marginalized populations. You can find options near you or get matched with a therapist on their website. To hear more about the work of Inclusive therapists, read our interview with Melody Li.