The Stress Of College Can Weigh Heavily On Your Mind
IT’S TIME TO RECOGNIZE JUST HOW HARD COLLEGE LIFE CAN BE ON YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, ESPECIALLY WITH THE WAY THE WORLD LOOKS NOW
By Maggie Tyndall
Siora Photography / Unsplash
I sometimes live in a fantasy world. I pretend that my issues don’t exist and that everything I have ever wanted out of life is my reality. I have a perfect life in this reality, where perfect people surround me, I have my dream job, am living in my dream apartment, and have no stress or worries. Even in the real world, I always look happy, joyful, and excited.
That’s not how I always feel.
I have struggled with anxiety and depression off and on for many years, and college has made it much worse. I spent most of my freshman year of college depressed, and honestly, I don’t remember most of it; it’s been blocked from my memory. I felt incredibly alone, being in a new environment that did not feel quite right to me, and my heart felt broken. I felt like there was absolutely no one I could talk to that would make me feel better. There was seemingly no one around me who seemed to be facing similar issues, and I did not know where to go. People would go out on the weekends, and I would stay home, ordering myself food and watching Netflix, even though I’m an extrovert who loves to dance and sing at the top of my lungs at a party. The people I surrounded myself with were so happy, and I felt like a broken record that wouldn’t stop crying herself to sleep and trying to be the person I was before college started.
Sophomore year was much happier, but my anxiety was at an all-time high. Some classes stressed me out so much that I would stop taking notes in the middle of the class to calm down. Naturally, I would just then make my anxiety worse because I would end up fifty PowerPoint slides behind the professor and the rest of the class, and I would go back to my apartment shaking and not being able to breathe due to the heavy weight that I felt was on my shoulders. Although I was happier, I still believed deep down that part of me was not where I should be, possibly physically, but definitely mentally. I knew I had to do better for myself. I needed to do better because I could not be reaching out to others and helping them when they needed it, but not even help myself.
For the first time ever, I went to therapy. (If you’re in college, definitely see if your school offers free therapy sessions; it’s a lifesaver and a resource you should definitely take advantage of!) I started journaling and started being open with people about how I was feeling. Rome wasn’t built in a day, so even though I was making great progress, I was definitely still experiencing anxiety attacks. But I felt better after them, knowing that I had resources at my fingertips and people that were willing to help me through these situations.
When COVID-19 initially forced college campuses to close, I had to leave my apartment and the friends who supported me. I was shut off from the free therapy sessions that I was finally utilizing, and I didn’t know what to do. I felt like my parents didn’t understand the stress that I was under, and my anxiety attacks grew much worse, with the increased course load from professors and the stress of the state of the world.
College is hard. Very hard. Harder for some than others, but nonetheless, hard. For too much of my life, mental health has not been spoken about, and mental health issues have been brushed under the rug (even my own issues, which have persisted since elementary school). When I would cry, or have an anxiety attack, I would be told that I was being dramatic, or hear whispers of “oh, she must be getting her period soon.” Living in a fantasy world was easier than having to tell these people that I was actually struggling, and I wasn’t just being dramatic. My issues didn’t seem normal, so of course, I didn’t feel like telling people. Not talking about my issues or having people understand what I was going through just allowed it to get worse.
Mental illnesses are extremely prevalent, and we need to recognize what we can do in order to fix the way that society views mental health. I shouldn’t have to live in a fantasy world 24/7, pretending that everything is okay, or not telling the people around me that I just had an anxiety attack in fear of being called “dramatic.” The world should be able to treat mental illnesses just like they treat colds and should make sure that people know resources are available for them when they need it.
Entering college is a tricky time, and with the way that the world is today, we need to make sure that we talk about our issues. I don’t want anyone entering college and feeling as helpless as I did for the first two years. People need to start speaking up and letting people know that there are resources out there. If you’re entering college this fall, or if you’re a current college student, keep in mind that most campuses have counseling and therapy. Make sure that your campus works hard to protect the emotional well-being of its community members. Find the organizations on your campus that support and uplift your classmates. You always have someone to talk to, no matter how helpless or alone you feel. Recognize that you are dealing with an issue and do whatever you can to fix it and help yourself because your mind matters. Over the last six months, I have gone to therapy, started journaling, and have talked to all of my family and friends about how I have been feeling. I feel supported, and you can too. In a fantasy world, our issues would be brushed under the rug, seemingly nonexistent. This cannot be our reality with how prevalent these issues are. We need to address them and say “I don’t mind” every day.
Maggie Tyndall is from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania who dreams of moving to New York City. She is currently a college junior with a double major in Communication Studies and Marketing with minors in Theatre Studies and Graphic Design. She loves Broadway, Disney, reading, watching Netflix, and learning all there is to learn.
