Is Online Therapy Right For You? We Tried It For A Month.
WE SPENT THE PAST 4 WEEKS TESTING OUT TWO OF THE MOST POPULAR ONLINE THERAPY PLATFORMS, AND THERE’S A LOT TO TALK ABOUT
BetterHelp and Talkspace changed the therapy game by simplifying the process of both finding and communicating with a therapist and also keeping therapy accessible and affordable. Our question was – is it actually worth the hype?
Two of the most popular online therapy options are Talkspace and BetterHelp. You’ve probably heard of them by now, but you might be nervous about committing to a full subscription. That’s exactly how we were feeling too.
We spent the past few weeks taking a deep dive into both platforms and trying them our for ourselves. Edward Schmit (Co-founder of IDONTMIND) signed up for Talkspace, and Kristina Benoist (Content Manager for IDONTMIND) subscribed to BetterHelp.
Here’s a little bit about our experience so you can decide for yourself.
The Basics
BETTERHELP
$260 per month
Unlimited messaging, phone and video calls, and live chat
BetterHelp doesn’t accept insurance, but they offer financial aid on a sliding-scale type system. The application process is incredibly easy. They also offer a free trial, in case you want to try out online therapy before you commit. Right now, they are offering a special promotion because of COVID-19. You can get 50% off of your first month of counseling.
TALKSPACE
$260 per month
Unlimited messaging, no live sessions
$316 per month
Unlimited messaging, one 30-minute live session per month
$396 per month
Unlimited messaging, four 30-minute lives sessions per month
Talkspace insurance options are limited, but they always seem to be running a promotion. If you’re on a subscription plan and want an extra live session, you can pay an extra $65 per 30-minute session.
The Starting Process
Edward Schmit (ES): So the way Talkspace is set up, it asks you a few questions about what you’re looking for in a therapist and what you want out of therapy. From there, they show you three different therapists with brief bios for you to choose from. Some of them had a video talking about themselves and their approach to therapy. I found myself really considering therapists with videos over ones that didn't have one. It's harder to get a sense of who they are if you're just reading a bio. I didn't really feel a connection to the first three therapists, so they gave me three more options. I didn't like any of those either. [laughs] I think on the third round I found one that I liked. It just seemed like we would work.
Kristina Benoist (KB): Yeah. BetterHelp is set up in the same way, for the most part. I really loved that you can put in your preferences for a therapist. It's really difficult to be able to narrow those specifics down sometimes in real life.
ES: As someone who's interested in design, I think that the Talkspace app is really well done. A lot of it's very intuitive and easy to use. There should be as few barriers as possible when you're looking for therapy, and Talkspace does a great job with that.
KB: Yeah, BetterHelp is like that too! It’s all very user-friendly.
“Things kind of turned a corner after our video chat, and I felt more open and willing to trust my therapist.”
How Sessions Are Structured
KB: With BetterHelp, I was able to live chat, video chat, and have a phone call. All of the sessions were 30 minutes. A few of my sessions actually went over that 30 minutes. When you're in person, it's always a hard cutoff at 55 minutes — and you don't go a minute over your session length. So that was nice! I never felt like I was being cut off.
ES: It seems like Talkspace would prefer you just chat via text within the app — at least, that's the vibe that I got. And then you can have special sessions over video or a phone call. But it seemed like they really were pushing the chat aspect. Which I think could work very well for some people. Other people not as much.
“We’ve had so many conversations about how difficult it can be to actually find a therapist in real life. Now you get to actually choose instead of just saying, ‘Well, they have available appointment, I guess I’ll go see them.’”
Our Therapists
ES: Chatting with my therapist felt more like a real conversation and less of just me talking and waiting for a response – which is what I look for in a therapist. I want someone to have an actual conversation with. It was something that I didn't like very much about the therapists who I've seen in the past. I lucked out and the therapist that I found on Talkspace had a way of making it feel like you might be talking to a friend.
KB: I feel like you either click with a therapist or you don't — for different reasons. And when I talked to my first therapist it felt very clinical. She never asked me any follow-up questions or she'd offer advice without understanding where my feelings were coming from. So I switched therapists, which was a really easy process and I'm so glad that I did it. The next therapist that I tried has been fantastic. And like you said, it just feels like a conversation with her. She seems to really understand how I'm feeling and if she doesn't, then she is great about asking where my emotions are coming from and how long I've been feeling that way.
“I loved having a platform where you can always write something. It was like journaling more than anything for me.”
What We Loved
THE OPEN-CHAT SETUP
KB: I loved having a platform where you can always write something. It was like journaling more than anything for me. Yes, my therapist was reading it and responding to it, but it felt more like just a place to go and write out my thoughts. That was therapeutic just on its own, without even having my therapist respond.
ES: I think that’s one of the coolest parts about Talkspace. It really feels like a living journal, and someone with experience and degrees and certifications is checking in on you via that journal. Whenever I had a thought, I could text it to my therapist. I knew that she won't respond until maybe the next day, but at least my thoughts had been registered and will be addressed at some point. I don't think a lot of people have that relationship with their in-person therapist. It felt like it was sort of a rolling therapy session.
VIDEO FELT SIMILAR TO IN-PERSON
ES: It really wasn't until I did a video call with my therapist that things really clicked. When I had that 30-minute video session, it was transformative for the entire experience. Things kind of turned a corner after our video chat, and I felt more open and willing to trust my therapist. There's so much that can be read from having a face-to-face chat with someone – tone of voice, compassion, understanding.
WE CAN BE PICKY
KB: We've had so many conversations about how difficult it can be to actually find a therapist in real life. And the fact that you have all of the therapists listed out in front of you and you get to actually choose instead of just saying, ‘well, they have available appointments, I guess I’ll go see them’ or ‘they accept my insurance, I'll go see them’. It’s your opportunity to be picky.
ES: Talkspace makes it pretty clear that even after you pick the therapist, you can switch if something isn't working. That's a big plus for online therapy. There are so many factors that go into whether a particular therapist will work for you. It seems like they're doing what they can to help you figure that out pretty easily.
“Even though online therapy is easier in some ways, you shouldn’t discount the amount of work that’s required of you. It’s the same amount of work. You get what you put into it.”
What we didn’t love
THE LACK OF CONNECTION AT FIRST
ES: Until my video chat with my therapist, I felt like I was talking to someone and I had no idea who they actually were. That felt very strange. It almost felt like I was talking to a bot. There's so little that can actually come through when you're just texting.
KB: I did a live-chat for my first appointment and the entire time I kept thinking exactly what you said – Am I talking to a robot? Am I being cat-fished? I felt so uncomfortable. And I felt like I was getting stock answers that the therapist had sent to everybody. I also over-thought and second-guessed absolutely everything I wrote. I think because I knew they were waiting for me to respond, it didn't feel authentic. I normally have word-vomit during therapy sessions, and it makes me feel good just to get it all out there. When you’re typing, it’s hard to let thoughts flow freely.
Our advice and takeaways
DON’T JUST SETTLE WITH YOUR THERAPIST
ES: You should take advantage of how easy these platforms make it to pick from many different therapists and get a sense of who they are. If you get served up three different therapists and you don't really feel a connection or you don't feel the chemistry, try a new one! It's so easy to do that and that's not something that's offered elsewhere. Doing that in real life is pretty hard and time-consuming.
LAY THE GROUNDWORK
KB: I introduced myself and wrote out a very lengthy message about why I came to BetterHelp, what issues I wanted to work through, and things that I've struggled with in the past. Just laying that groundwork was so important. It doesn't feel like you have that same amount of time for your therapist to get to know you when you're doing it in an online format. There's no consultation like you'd have for in-person therapy. So if I were to suggest anything, it would be to lay it all out for your therapist in the open chat. That way, in your first session, you're both on the same page on what you want to work on and who you are.
IT’S STILL GOING TO BE WORK
ES: Even though online therapy is easier in some ways, you shouldn't discount the amount of work that's required of you. It's the same amount of work. You get what you put into it. The more honest and willing you are to work on yourself and accept the advice that your therapist gives you, the better experience you'll have.
KB: I think it's always going to come down to your mindset. Whether it’s in-person or online, if you want to get help for something you're struggling with, you will be able to find it on BetterHelp or Talkspace. I actually rescheduled a few of my appointments because I just wasn’t in the mood for it. I kept thinking ‘it's fine if I reschedule because they aren't waiting for me to be there. They're just at home too.’ I realized that I had to be willing to put in the work and show up if I wanted anything to change, in the same way I would for in-person therapy.
LOOK BACK ON YOUR CHATS
KB: My therapist recommended that I download the transcript from the chatting platform. So that way, even if I cancel BetterHelp, I can go back to that transcript and look at my therapist’s advice, which I think is so rare. You can't ever do that with in-person therapy! I feel like it's also a cool way to measure my growth or to revisit helpful advice when I need it most.
ES: I think that's an awesome point because you're right, you don't walk out of your in-person therapy sessions with an audio recording of them. These apps make it really, really easy to have a record of what you talked about.
“For the time that we’re living in, it’s extremely helpful to have a therapist that’s basically on-call.”
Will you continue with online therapy?
ES: You know, I'm not sure. I think a lot of it comes down to where we are right now. This is a very stressful time for so many people, in so many different ways, and it's nice to have just someone that you can talk to about anything — anytime you want. That’s a pretty comforting feeling. If I decide to cancel, I have to write a message to my therapist and say I won’t be continuing. That's the part that I'm not looking forward to.
KB: Breaking up with your therapist is never easy. Even if it's online.
ES: It's not you, it’s me.
KB: Yeah, that's what they always say. [laughs] I'm in the same boat though. For the time that we're living in, it's extremely helpful to have a therapist that’s basically on-call. I don't know if online therapy would be my preferred form of therapy. For right now though, this is a fantastic resource for people to have.
Should someone give it a try?
KB: Definitely. Online therapy can be just as helpful as in-person therapy and even easier to access.
ES: My resounding answer is hell yes. Especially right now. It’s a great time to use their free trials and promotions and give it a try. Even if you’ve never done therapy before. It’s a great time to start.
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Note: IDONTMIND is a program of Mental Health America (MHA). The therapy platform we discuss here, BetterHelp, is a sponsor of MHA’s website. Our opinions are completely our own and this review is not a paid partnership with BetterHelp.