Here’s what to do when you feel like you’re living on autopilot
HOW TO TAKE BACK CONTROL WHEN LIFE FEELS LIKE IT’S MOVING WITHOUT YOU
By Jackie Menjivar
(Denys Argyriou / Unsplash)
Have you ever fallen into a rut where every day feels the same, and you’re just going through the motions? Maybe you've felt a little numb to what’s happening around you. You might even get the sense that you’re not living your life to the fullest.
It’s super common to feel like you’re living on autopilot — especially now. A lot of us are still adjusting from the monotony of our quarantine routines. We’re also living in a time when the pressures from school and work keep our days revolving around schedules and deadlines.
This autopilot feeling can be related to mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, or dissociative disorders. It may also be a sign that you’re feeling burnt out or not coping well with stress. Whatever the cause, you can get off autopilot and take back control of your life. Here are some steps that can help.
Pause and reflect.
One of the ways you get stuck on autopilot is by feeling like you always have to be moving forward. School or work might pressure you to meet deadlines and constantly move from project to project. Or you might like to keep yourself busy with a packed schedule of activities and events.
When you feel like you can’t stop moving, you don’t leave space to make conscious choices about your days. It’s okay to stand still sometimes. The next time you catch yourself slipping into autopilot, pause for a moment, and ask yourself some questions:
What are you doing right now?
What else have you done today?
How are you feeling?
How could your behavior impact the way you’re feeling?
Reflect on what you’re actually doing, and change course if it doesn't feel right.
Do one thing differently.
Routines can be helpful. They give you stability, keep you organized, and make sure you get important things done. But there’s a fine line between following a healthy routine and falling into a rut because it’s comfortable. Look at your habits and find the places where you could be doing something differently.
You can switch up the things you already do every day. Cook something new for dinner, wear an outfit that you haven’t before, or take a different route to work. You could also do something completely out of your routine, like exploring an unfamiliar neighborhood or starting up a new hobby. The point is to get out of your comfort zone and do something that pushes you even just a little bit.
Set a goal (or a few!).
You might end up on autopilot because you’re so focused on getting through the day-to-day that you forget about why you’re doing it or what you’re actually working toward. If you’re feeling stuck, a goal can help put you back on track.
Set a goal and then figure out the steps you need to take to achieve it. It doesn’t have to be some huge, life-defining thing (although it can if you want it to be!). You can start by setting a short-term goal to perfect a new yoga pose or perform at an open mic. Then, think about those bigger goals — career plans, dream vacations, and bucket list stuff.
Practice mindfulness.
We can’t get around it. There are some things we just have to do the same every day. But instead of doing them automatically, try to do them consciously. Mindfulness is all about awareness. Be aware of what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and what you’re thinking throughout the day.
The next time you’re doing something routine, try to stay in the moment. Don’t zone out and start thinking about what comes next. Taste and savor every bite of your lunch, and be proud of yourself for cooking it. Feel the warm water of the shower and take your time getting clean and ready for your day. Even in the most mundane moments, what do you feel, see, smell, and hear?
Cut down on tech.
How many times a day do you reach for your phone without even thinking about it? By the time you look up, you’ve just zoned out for an hour watching TikToks that you can’t even remember.
That doesn’t mean you have to ditch your phone. Just make it harder to mindlessly scroll. Set screen time limits or move your apps into a hidden folder so that you have to make a conscious effort when using them. Even just setting your phone down for a certain amount of time each day can push you to get off autopilot and fill your time with something new.
Take more pictures.
Make it a goal to take a picture every day. It’ll help you do a couple things:
Slow down. When you take a picture, you’re forced to physically stop and take in what’s in front of you. It’ll help you be more mindful of the special moments in your day and save them for the future.
Reveal patterns. If all your daily pictures start to look the same, it may be time to change it up. You become more aware of your habits when you’re documenting them.
Challenge yourself. You’re probably gonna try to capture a really unique moment every day, and this can push you to do new things, go to new places, or see things differently than you normally would.
Connect with people.
We feel most in tune with ourselves and our environment when we connect with people. It’s easier to be in the moment when you’re with another person, especially if you’re spending meaningful time with them.
It can be a small or big connection. Whether you’re having a long conversation with a friend or just smiling at a stranger at the grocery store, those little exchanges remind us to look up from our routines and really engage with the world around us.
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Your life matters, and you deserve to feel in control of it. When the days start to feel blurry, know that you have the power to get back in the driver’s seat.
We all feel stuck sometimes, but if you’re struggling with chronic feelings of disconnection, consider taking an online mental health screen. It’ll help you check in with your mental health and connect you with more resources.