Bedtime procrastination

What it is and how to stop the cycle of revenge

By Mia Barnes

(Natasha Hall / Unsplash)

You’ve spent your day doing things you didn’t really feel like doing — laundry, attending classes, club meetings, and scheduling your next dentist appointment. Now, the day is over. It feels like it’s finally your chance just to do you. 

Maybe doing you means bingeing the next 10 episodes of your new favorite show or scrolling through social media for who knows how long. And all of a sudden, you’ve avoided your “bedtime,” and you’ve been awake through the night just to get your “me time.” You’re not alone in falling into this pattern. It’s a clear sign that you’ve been devoting yourself to taking care of other people or the things that have to get done all day. You just want some time for yourself — and you deserve it. 

This habit is called revenge bedtime procrastination. It usually feels good in the moment, but it’s not great for future you. The good news is there are ways to get the sleep you need without sacrificing the downtime you need. Here’s what revenge bedtime procrastination is, what its consequences are, and how to develop a new pattern.

What is revenge bedtime procrastination?

Revenge bedtime procrastination is when you prioritize other activities over sleep to make up for — or get revenge on — feeling like you don’t have time for yourself during the day. 

You’re trying to take something back, whether it’s time or your autonomy to choose what you do with your day. You use the window before bed because it’s the only one you seem to have.

Because you’ve been feeling the pressure to be productive all day, your activities before bed end up being (typically) nonproductive, like watching a mindless movie, scrolling social media, or standing in the shower for an unreasonably long time — no judgment from us.  

Some people delay even the act of getting into bed, while other people get in bed but delay falling asleep by taking their phone, or laptop with them. Bedtime procrastination can impact everyone, but it’s especially common for anyone with less time, like parents or other caregivers, and people with taxing jobs or long commutes. 

What are the effects of revenge bedtime procrastination? 

You might already feel some of these effects, but there are several consequences to revenge bedtime procrastination.

  • Loss of productivity: Tiredness and productivity don’t usually mix, and combining them can become a vicious cycle. You stay up because you need time to finish work, which leads to going to bed later.  

  • Decreased decision-making skills: Sleep deprivation affects your ability to make decisions quickly and efficiently, usually leading to a loss in productivity. 

How do you stop revenge bedtime procrastination? 

Find other windows of time

Analyze your day to see if you can find different time windows. Breaking up your day with microbreaks or short walks outside will help you feel like you still found time for yourself — even when you’re busy. Sometimes, even a few minutes of lying down with your eyes closed and some music on can do the trick. You’ll end your day feeling more fulfilled and less hungry for revenge. 

Plan joyful things

Find time in your week or month for things that bring you joy. It could be hanging out with friends, planning a solo or couple’s date, checking out that new thrift store you’ve been eyeing, diving into a page-turner with a soothing cup of tea, or treating yourself to a relaxing facial. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to plan ahead. Knowing these moments are coming up decreases the need for revenge procrastination before bed.

Listen to your energy

Are you staying up late because nighttime is when your energy peaks? Is staying up late cutting into your most powerful time of day — the morning? Figure out how your energy naturally ebbs and flows throughout the day and work with instead of against it. If you’re a night owl, swap out the procrastination activities for productive tasks, like learning a language or planning your meals for the week ahead. Just remember to get enough sleep.

Ask for help

If responsibilities fall to you — like tucking the kids into bed or tidying up after dinner — get a partner, family member, or friend to take care of it occasionally. Therapist Ingrid Camacho says sharing tasks “will give you time to set aside at least 15-30 minutes of dedicated ‘me time’ before bed.” 

Limit social media

It’s easy to lose track of time on social media. You open an app thinking you’ll just check in on what your friends are up to, and suddenly, you’re watching a seemingly endless stream of videos about puppies and kittens meeting for the first time. In addition to being a time suck, social media can lead to anxious thoughts, which make it harder to fall asleep. Limit it by shutting down all electronic devices at least 30 minutes before bed.   

Create a bedtime routine

Sticking to a bedtime routine is key for fighting revenge procrastination. Schedule a specific time to go to bed every night and keep it up as much as possible on weekends. If you’re a fan of the nighttime shower, add that to your repertoire, or — if you’re trying to swap out TV for a good book — consider making reading a part of your routine. Gentle stretching, yoga, or meditation are also great ways to signal to your body that it’s time to power down. 

DO FUTURE YOU A FAVOR

“Living well is the best revenge” is a common saying for a reason. Replace unhealthy revenge bedtime procrastination with habits that will increase your productivity and sense of peace throughout the day. Future you will thank you.

 

Mia Barnes is a health and wellness freelance writer with a passion for mental health, healthy living and self care. Mia is also the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Body+Mind magazine. Follow Mia and Body+Mind on Twitter and Instagram @bodymindmag! 

 
Kristina Benoist