6 ways to move past your mistakes

WE’RE ALL HUMAN. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. IT’S OKAY TO FORGIVE YOURSELF AND MOVE ON.

By Kristina Benoist

Have you ever looked back on a situation or conversation, or a moment in your life and thought, “Wow, I really wish I had handled that differently. I messed up.”

Sometimes it’s something really small, and other times it’s big, life-changing things. Either way, making mistakes is a part of life, and sometimes it can weigh really heavily on our mental health. They can play like a movie over and over in our head, and it’s hard to break free from it.

The most important thing to remember is that you are so much more than your mistakes. Self-forgiveness is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Give yourself permission to move past the situations you wish you handled differently and truly forgive yourself. ⁣

Easier said than done though, right? Here are some tips to let go of your mistakes, forgive yourself, and move on.

Accept your mistakes

Sometimes just owning your mistake is really hard. It can feel really heavy to accept the responsibility in a situation that doesn’t always portray us at our best. But honestly, you can start to heal from things once you accept and admit to yourself (and others) that you messed up. Just saying “I messed up, and I’ll do better from now on” can really help you move on. Hint: If your mistake involved someone else, you still deserve respect. Don’t let people hold a mistake over your head — try setting some boundaries if this ends up happening.

Find the lesson in it

One of the silver linings to making a mistake, no matter how big, is that you learn something from it. Try and thank your mistakes for helping teach you something. You are the person you are right now because of whatever mistake you made, and hopefully, it helps you as you become the person you want to be too.

Be kind to yourself

It’s normal to feel bad after making a mistake, but remember that you’re still worthy of good things. Try not to let the negative self-talk take over your thoughts and emotions, as much as possible. You’re doing the best you can, and in most cases, mistakes aren’t made with malicious intent. Put energy into how you can learn and grow, rather than just being critical of yourself.

Remember that you’re thinking about it more than anyone else

Okay, it’s easy to be fully consumed by a mistake, and it’s even easier to think that everyone in your life is consumed by it too. Sometimes it helps to have a dose of reality and remember that, in most situations, no one is dwelling on it as much as you are.

Figure out what’s next

In a lot of mistakes, other people are impacted in the process — directly or indirectly. So, if you need to apologize for the impact your mistake made on someone else’s life, that’s an important conversation to have. Then you have to figure out what’s next in your relationship with that person. How can you make it up to them moving forward? Do they need time to heal too? Making sure that you’ve done what you can for another person may help you as you try to move forward.

Let it go

Here we are. The most difficult part. If you find yourself here, double-check with yourself: Did you accept responsibility where it was necessary? Did you learn from the situation? Will you try and do better in the future? Okay, then you have to forgive yourself and continue on. Let it go from your mind, and hopefully, your mental health will feel a little bit better too. You deserve to move forward.