Friendships naturally ebb and flow, and it's normal for one person to give more during certain seasons of life. But when the imbalance feels consistently one-sided, it may be time to pause and reflect on the relationship.

Start by expressing your observations and feelings about the imbalance, and see if your friend is open to the conversation. They may not have been aware and could be willing to adjust and show up for you in the way you need. However, if the imbalance continues, setting boundaries can help prevent feelings of resentment from building. If you're unsure where to start, reflect on what feels most draining in the friendship and set boundaries around that.

If your friend becomes defensive when you bring this up or if you’re continuing to feel like you're giving more than you're receiving, consider what is keeping you in the relationship. Is it the memories, the comfort, the familiarity, or the emotional investment? While we often hope that our friendships will last a lifetime, some are only meant to be part of our journey for a season. It might be time to ask if you’ve outgrown the friendship or if it no longer serves your needs. Though it can be hard to let go, you deserve to surround yourself with people who truly care for you, stand by you in tough times, and encourage you to be the healthiest version of yourself.

Kathryn Lee

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When you feel a friendship is one sided, you do not have to give up entirely. It may be time to reevaluate the friendship and consider other factors. It may be helpful to have a conversation with your friend about how it is that you're feeling and how their behavior is affecting you using I feel statements.

So for example, I feel sad when I feel like I'm the only one reaching out, making plans for us to spend time together. It makes me feel like I'm losing your friendship. I'm wondering if we can find a solution that works for the both of us. This encourages your friend to validate your experience and share their thoughts.

Nevertheless, if you've expressed your concern to your friend multiple times, you've used all the I feel statements that you can, and you see no change, it's imperative to stand firm in your boundaries. Let them know you can no longer participate in a one sided friendship and go where your needs are being met.

Imani Tutt