Envision your urges are like waves. They can appear large and overwhelming but there are ways to ride them out without getting swept away. Distraction is one of the basic practices to divert our attention toward other sensory experiences long enough for the urge wave to wash over. Think TIPP: Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Relaxation. Changing your body's temperature (T) by holding your breath or placing your hands and face under cold water will decrease the intensity of an emotion and help you reset. Taking a walk or exercising your limbs (I) changes your movement pattern and environment, sending your brain the message that you're not stuck to suffer the wave. Paced breathing and Paired muscle relaxation are the last P's and involve regulating your nervous system through natural techniques with your lungs, chest and muscles. More information and recording examples can be readily found online.

Other things to ride the wave involve directly appealing to your five senses: what you can see, hear, smell, taste and touch. Gather a handful of items that best embody each of these categories. For example, it could be a photo of people or things closest to you, places you've visited and really enjoyed (vision); specific songs or voice memos, or instruments (hearing); flowers, scents, oils that are associated with positive memories (smell); teas, chocolates, something unfamiliar and of a rare treat (taste); fuzzy cloths, cold/warm compresses, lotions, fidget toys (touch). From what you've gathered, create a soothing kit that you can easily access during times of the urge wave. Lastly, it is very important to note that you do not need to ride this through alone. Involve a friend or family into the planning and see if they can make themselves available in person or remotely via phone or video during these episodes.

So ignoring the urge isn't enough; we need to actively move towards something that distracts or stimulates us in safer ways.

Josiah Teng