How do you explain boundaries to your parents? When I set boundaries with my dad, I feel like he hears it as an attack (rather than a way to make our relationship better).

Whether due to cultural or generational differences or a combination of both, boundaries can sometimes be perceived as selfish or a form of rejection. However, the truth is that setting boundaries allows you to have a healthy relationship with yourself and others; boundaries communicate to us and our loved ones our needs and limits.

Practically speaking, it can be helpful to offer alternatives when trying to set boundaries with your parents i.e “I can’t speak with you right now, but I can give you a call later in the week when I’m free.” In addition, highlighting potential positive outcomes, such as reduced conflict and improved communication, can be helpful in conveying that setting boundaries is best for the relationship.

Remember that setting boundaries is integral to any healthy relationship. Boundaries are not only a form of self-care but also how others can love and care for you in the most intimate, respectful way. Model this in your conversation and approach it with empathy, understanding, patience, and a genuine desire for positive change in your relationship with your parents.

Kathryn Lee