HOW TO IDENTIFY, PROCESS, AND COPE WITH THE DIFFERENT EMOTIONS THAT YOU MAY BE FACING

How are you feeling today? Stop and think about it for a minute. (Seriously, really think about it.)

What words did you use to describe how you were doing? It’s easy to just categorize your feelings as good or bad — and not think much past that. It’s also pretty hard to think about your emotions as you’re feeling them, but once you start to identify and recognize your feelings, they start to feel a little bit more manageable. That’s what it means to own your feelings. It’s putting your emotions back in your hands! It gives you the power to cope with your feelings when, usually, your emotions would seem out of your control.

We know it can be kind of confusing on how to actually own your feelings. The term feels kind of vague, doesn’t it? But here are just a few ways that you can start to own your feelings (it’s easier than you may initially think.)

Feel your feelings

They’re your feelings, of course you’re feeling them! Right? But sometimes, when a painful feeling comes up, your mind tries to skirt around that emotion by brushing it off, rationalizing it, or distracting your attention away from it. But you have every right to feel them! It’s important to process and experience what you’re feeling. It may not always be the right time to process your emotions in the very moment you are feeling them, but try to address them as soon as you can. (Hint: Crying is actually good for you! It can be healthy and therapeutic to feel those tough emotions and let your tears flow.)

Name your feelings

There’s always an instinct to say or think that you’re “doing good” or “doing bad”, but it’s time to start using all of the words that actually describe how we feel. Once you start naming your feelings directly and start saying “I’m feeling anxious” or “I’m feeling hopeful” or “I’m feeling depressed”, you start to understand yourself and your emotions in a stronger way.

Measure your feelings

So let’s take feeling angry as an example. You can feel anger that you spilled your coffee, or by a rude message someone sent you, or anger about the amount of work that you have to do for school. But are you feeling anger all with the same intensity in every situation? Probably not. It may be frustration, annoyance, betrayal, stress, or just full-blown anger. When you start thinking and measuring the intensity of your emotions, you may realize that what you thought you were feeling at first could better be described by another word. And that’s when you can start to really own your feelings, as they are and as you truly feel them.

Write about your feelings

Start writing down your feelings, either as they’re happening or at the end of the day, and what caused them. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated, but just typing them into a note on your phone or writing it in a journal starts to give you some really interesting insight into your overall mental health. You may start to notice the things that bring up different emotions in you, and you start to get a bigger picture of how you feel on a regular basis.

Talk about your feelings

We all have moments where you can’t put into words exactly what you’re feeling. Sometimes, you need to talk through it with someone — a friend, a family member, a therapist, a crisis counselor — before you can really process your feelings. All of us have emotions and feelings, and we all process them in different ways. Sharing with someone else may give you some ideas on how to own your feelings in a healthy way. It’s also totally okay for you to just ask them to be a listening ear on your feelings, but maybe not necessarily share or comment with their own experiences.

There's power in owning your feelings. Here are 5 ways to get started.