I'm Olympian Laurie Hernandez, and here's a piece of my mind
The “Human Emoji’s” positive persona doesn’t always come easy, but that’s not stopping her
Welcome to our Piece Of My Mind series where experts, advocates, and amazing people from all backgrounds and professions share a snapshot of their mental health. We dive into their self-care routines, how they balance their work with their mental health, and how they manage those really bad days. We’re sharing this piece of their mind so that you can hopefully find some inspiration in your own mental health journey moving forward.
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At only 19 years old, author, Dancing with the Stars winner, and Olympic gymnast Laurie Hernandez has accomplished an unbelievable amount in high-stress environments. All with a smile on her face. But it hasn’t always been easy.
Laurie entered the world stage during the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro with the famed U.S. ‘Final Five’ gymnastics team. She left Rio with gold and silver medals, and earned a reputation of having one of the most positive attitudes and expressive faces in gymnastics.
She’s become a symbol of optimism, determination, and kindness, and continues to inspire people across the world. And as our very first IDONTMIND Ambassador, Laurie is leading by example and opening up about her own mental health with the hope of inspiring other people to do the same.
We chatted with Laurie about overcoming her anxiety during competitions, working through depression post-Olympics, and figuring out how to take care of her mental health while in the spotlight.
This is Laurie Hernandez, and here’s a piece of her mind.
IDONTMIND (IDM): So how’s your mental health today?
Laurie Hernandez (LH): I mean, it's okay! I'm a little bit anxious after taking time off from training after the Olympics. I’m diving right back into a really high level of gymnastics. I’m just trying to get everything back, but it's also mixed with excitement. It's going to be a whirlwind of a year.
IDM: Would you mind sharing your mental health journey with us?
LH: I grew up in a house where feelings were always something that we talked about. My mom is a social worker and my sister just became a therapist. Since I was little, I had natural nerves before competing. My mom was always a really big help before competing – I’d tell her ‘My legs felt like jello, my hands are shaking, I want to sit in the corner and cry.’ She would give me different ways to help with that, and the older I got, the more I found it really helpful. Even just throughout the Olympics, I would call her crying, and she was like, ‘Okay, this is normal. We've done this before. Take a deep breath.’
“I was already dealing with some depression during gymnastics on and off. But during those two years it just snowballed.”
Throughout gymnastics, I saw sports psychologists here and there, and that was also really helpful. It was nice to just have someone to talk to about things like, ‘Hey, this is how I feel before I'm competing. Is this normal? How do I deal with it?’ And talking to someone about it was kind of the first step into understanding how my brain works when I'm nervous.
I took two years off from gymnastics after the Olympics, and that was a really big change. I went from training seven, eight hours a day and eating super healthy to not training at all and eating whatever I wanted. I watched my body change. That was really scary for me because there's this high pyramid of the ideal body types for gymnastics and what you're supposed to look like. It was already being judged when I was in competition shape, and now that I wasn't competing or doing the sport, I was watching myself change. And that kind of kick-started it.
I was already dealing with some depression during gymnastics on and off. But during those two years it just snowballed. It was just a hectic two years of constantly traveling, even though I wasn't really training. And then coming back to gymnastics, as interesting as it was, is kind of how I started healing.
I ended up talking to a regular therapist, not sports-related. And that changed everything. My mom had always told me, ‘Hey, you're Laurie who just so happens to be a gymnast, you're not Laurie the gymnast.’ So having someone to talk to – not about gymnastics, but about me personally – was really helpful.
Now, here I am today. I'm doing gymnastics and I’m dealing with it.
IDM: What are you most focused on right now?
LH: Currently, training is really the number one priority. I'm training full-time, six days a week and about five hours a day. The next big step will be in November at a training camp. That's kind of my first appearance back for gymnastics. So that’s going to be a big stepping stone that will lead into another camp in January. That will snowball into, hopefully, international competitions early next year.
IDM: What are your go-to self-care rituals?
LH: It definitely took a second to find what works me. If I'm really anxious, I have too much energy, so I feel the need to maybe go for a run or at least drive somewhere. Just get out and go. I just got my driver's license, so lately it's been me just driving anywhere and then figuring out my way home.
And then dealing with depression, there comes a point where you don't want to do anything, so it's about finding a way to relax. It's really just being in tune with how I'm feeling and what I might need at the moment. Is it that I have to get moving or do I have to take it easy and take my time moving through things?
IDM: Your nickname is ‘The Human Emoji’ because of the expressive faces you always have during your routines. What emoji describes how you're feeling on a good mental health day?
LH: On a good mental health day it would be the new emoji where it's smiling with its mouth closed and it's got hearts all over. On the good days, I just want to be there for other people. I want to help. I want to do things. I want to go outside. I want to have a really good workout.
IDM: What emoji describes you on a not so good mental health day?
LH: The not so good mental health days, it would probably be the emoji with the zipper as the mouth because, when I do feel that way, it's not my first instinct to talk about it. Speaking up doesn't come naturally. It still feels a bit unnatural!
“Sometimes I can’t give 100%, and I’ll see a question mark above some people’s heads. What’s going on? Why isn’t she all the way up? It’s a tough persona to uphold.”
IDM: Everyone talks about your infectious smile. Does being a face of positivity and happiness across the world make it easier or harder to discuss your mental health?
LH: Oh man. It's kind of 50/50. When I’m in front of the screen, and even just competing for gymnastics or doing events that millions of people can see, there's a natural joy that comes from it. When I'm smiling and I'm radiating that joy, it’s because I truly feel it.
Unfortunately, on the days where I am having a rough go at it, that's what people still expect from me. Sometimes I can't give 100%, and I’ll see a question mark above some people's heads. ‘What's going on? Why isn't she all the way up?’ It's a tough persona to uphold. I think communicating about it with my family, my friends, and everybody who I work with has been really helpful. But I love that my claim to fame is being positive, and at the end of the day, that’s what I want to put out there.
IDM: Are there people that you always turn to whenever you feel like you're struggling?
LH: I think my go-to person is probably my sister. I feel very comfortable letting her know how I feel. And she always has pretty much the perfect response for it. I don't know if it's because she studied for that or because she's my sister and she knows me like nobody else does. But she always knows the right thing to say. She was the one always encouraging me to go and talk to someone about it, even if it wasn't her, and encouraging me to try something new so that way I could feel better.
I think that it's so important to have a go-to person. They don't see you as your lows. They see you as a person, but they're there for your lows if you have them.
“When I was designing my shirt, I knew immediately that I wanted flowers to be a part of it. Flowers are something that always make me feel connected to my parents and connected to making sure that I’m taking care of myself. ”
Laurie Hernandez’s limited edition IDONTMIND tshirt, the Grow Through It Tee
IDM: Tell us about your limited-edition IDONTMIND tee. What inspired the design?
LH: There was a point where I just couldn’t pick myself up. Looking back now, it was actually a big mental health moment for me. I finally opened up to my mom about it, and she just hugged me for a long time and then she said, ‘You have to go through it, to grow through it.’ That has stuck with me, even years later.
When I was designing my shirt, I knew immediately that I wanted flowers to be a part of it. Flowers are something that always make me feel connected to my parents and connected to making sure that I'm taking care of myself. Even if I'm having a rough mental health day, I’ve still got to water my plants, because they need it.
It came from the idea that your mind and your body need you to take care of them. They are things you need to go out of your way to take care of. It’s just saying ‘Take care of your mind as you would take care of anything else.’
“My mom opened up, and there were a lot of things where she said, ‘You know, I haven’t shared this with anybody.’ That all started with us talking about IDONTMIND. It made our bond even stronger.”
IDM: What does being an IDONTMIND Ambassador mean to you?
LH: I mentioned to my mom that I had this interview with IDONTMIND and I was nervous about it. I know my gymnastics story inside out, I talk about it all the time. It's something that's always asked about. But mental health is not one of those things. And I was worried that I was oversharing. Is it factual? Am I venting? What’s the difference? And my mom was just kind of guiding me through that. She was like, ‘You know, I think this is a wonderful opportunity to share your story. You've done all these awesome things, but you still have things that you struggle with. It shows other people that they can still do it too, even though they're feeling this way.’
That snowballed into a two-hour conversation. My mom opened up, and there were a lot of things where she said, ‘You know, I haven't shared this with anybody.’ That all started with us talking about IDONTMIND. It made our bond even stronger. And it was because we opened the door to talk about mental health, and that wasn't something that was quite open for her before.
So thank you. Because that means the world to me above anything else.