I’m Chris Wood, founder of IDONTMIND, and here’s a piece of my mind
CHRIS TALKS SELF-CARE AND THE BIGGEST LESSONS HE’S LEARNED ABOUT HIS MENTAL HEALTH
By Kristina Benoist
Welcome to our Piece Of My Mind series where experts, advocates, and amazing people from all backgrounds and professions share a snapshot of their mental health. We dive into their self-care routines, how they balance their work with their mental health, and how they manage those really bad days. We’re sharing this piece of their mind so that you can hopefully find some inspiration in your own mental health journey moving forward.
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Chris Wood doesn’t mind talking about his mental health. But it’s something that hasn’t always come so easily, even as the founder of IDONTMIND. Like a lot of people, Chris has been on a lifelong journey to understand his own mental health and be open and honest about his struggles with anxiety and depression. And for the past several years, he’s used his platform to advocate for others who are doing the same. Now Chris — known for his roles in Supergirl and The Vampire Diaries — is infusing his passion for mental health into his other talents. He’s exploring mental health themes through writing and film, including a short film, Snowshoe, that he recently wrote and directed.
We sat down with Chris to learn more about how he manages his mental health, how he found what works best for him, and the biggest lessons he’s learned about his mental health.
This is Chris Wood, and here’s a piece of his mind.
IDONTMIND (IDM): How is your mental health today? What’s your headspace like?
Chris Wood (CW): Thank you for asking. Honestly, I'm a little stressed. We're getting ready to leave New York and go back to California. I'm a person who likes consistency and routine, so any sort of disruption has a tendency to stress me out. But I would say I'm actually handling it pretty well. I snuck a workout in this afternoon in the midst of all the packing and chaos and that went a long way.
IDM: What does a normal day look like for you right now?
CW: A normal day for me starts with getting my son up, having a little playtime, and making some coffee — which is vital to my day. I get outside for a morning stroll with my dog, which is a routine that I love. It gets me moving and wakes me up, and a good moment to get centered and soak up some sunlight. I prioritize a bit of family time at the top of the day. I don't like to go straight into productive things, I want to sort of ease my way into it and make sure I connect with my loved ones before I do anything else. I always hit this point around nine or so when I know I’m ready to get to work. I don't have regimented desk job hours when I'm writing, so it's up to me to decide when it happens. The work has to be done at some point, and words have to end up on the page, but flexibility is a luxury that I get when I'm not on set as an actor.
After I’m finished with work in the afternoon, I get in an hour or so of workout time, and then I try to commit the rest of my day to being present with my family. The end of the day is a long wind down — watch a movie or TV show, or play a board game. And then I always read for a bit before bed. That's a normal day for me. Obviously if I’m filming, my hours are totally out of my control, and my days look absolutely nothing like this. “Nothing being normal” is my normal.
“I started talking openly about my mental health struggles because I felt like that was the only way to help encourage other people to speak up. And that choice to be open about it has benefitted my own mental health. So I keep going.”
IDM: What was your first experience really thinking about mental health?
CW: When I was in high school, a very close friend of mine was really struggling. Mental health wasn't a language that I spoke yet. It was definitely not something that we talked openly about, and I didn't really know how to be there for him. I knew his behavior was changing and that he was withdrawing, but I didn't really understand what he was going through. I wish I had. It got pretty intense for him, and thankfully he got the help he needed and is okay. But that was the first time that I was truly aware that someone close to me could be dealing with something that I couldn’t see, that I didn’t know was there.
That experience gave me a bit of understanding that I could then apply to myself later in life when I was struggling personally. I was fortunate that mental illness wasn’t in the front of my mind growing up. In fact, just the opposite. It was very hidden, very withdrawn. I saw a lot of behavior that contributes to the stigma surrounding mental health, where it wasn’t talked about honestly — or at all. It was always treated like this dark secret that needed to be kept hidden away so no one could see it. The whole experience really opened my eyes.
IDM: Obviously, being an actor can come with a lot of really unique challenges — moving across the country, having a different schedule every day, and having your life be very public. How have you learned to balance that while taking care of yourself?
CW: I don’t think I’ve really learned it yet. Balance is the goal, but it’s so difficult to get there. And yes, the public aspect can sometimes tip the scales out of balance for me. I’m very private. I feel like I'm less open with my life than many people I know. I started talking openly about my mental health struggles because I felt like that was the only way to encourage other people to speak up. And that choice to be open about it has benefitted my own mental health and improved my life and relationships… the list goes on. So I keep going.
But yeah, it's tough. I struggle with a lot of anxiety. I might be in a room of 500 people and not a single person knows who I am, but because of whatever has happened in my head space, even a fleeting conversation with somebody in a moment where I'm not ready for it can send me spiraling. And at times, I have to take myself out of situations. I do try to challenge myself to work through it sometimes, because I feel like only by successful exposure can I reduce that feeling of dread that swells up.
IDM: What are a few ways that you self-care? How did you find them, and how did you realize they worked for you?
CW:
EXERCISE
Exercise is always my first answer, as I know it is for a lot of people. It really works for me. It can literally be the difference between me being on top of my stress levels or completely overrun by them. When I'm consistent with my workout routine, I’m happier, more balanced, more focused, I sleep better… it’s huge for me. And thankfully, I've really come to love it. I love having that time to push myself and work hard, and for that to be the only thing that I'm doing. I try to commit to putting my phone down, turning on some favorite music, and just going for it.
As aware as I am of how valuable exercise is to my overall health, I still go through stretches where I fall out of step, or find excuses to avoid getting back into it. Those times, sadly enough, usually coincide with moments when I'm down.
It keeps me in a routine too. It’s knowing that I'm going to train four days out of the week, and then I'm going to play softball, or tennis, or go for a hike. Having a plan that gets me moving is something that I can fall back on regardless of what my mood is, and it keeps me grounded.
MEDITATION
When I meditate consistently, I really feel the effects. And I know that it helps me. I just came out of a phase where I was really consistent about doing it, and I fell off because “I got too busy.” Sometimes it's hard to mentally justify sitting down and doing nothing for 20 minutes, but I can feel such a shift in my mind when I stop meditating regularly.
I used to be pretty regimented about it too. I'm pretty particular, and as someone living with ADHD, I'm very distractible, so consistency is a way for my thoughts to stay calm enough to not get distracted and deviate. But I've gotten better about viewing different things as meditative. Sometimes just going for a long walk or spending time outside relaxing can accomplish the same thing for me. It’s just about making the time to do it. Thanks for the reminder!
READING
I love reading. I think possibly even more than watching a movie or a tv show. Your brain has to be so involved to imagine everything and follow the story. It’s like you're part of the story, or a collaborator in the storytelling. A movie tells you almost everything, shows you all of it, but with a book, you just have the words to go off of and you have to imagine the rest. I really enjoy the unique connection that a book gives you.
I go through phases, especially when I'm writing, where I feel like I can't read a novel because it’s like my brain can't shift gears to another thing. So I'd like to be better about being more consistent with it, because it's another thing that I know I love and that really rewards me. It’s a chance to visit other perspectives and cultures and expand your world view and understanding, and compassion… and it’s enjoyable. What’s not to love?
ART
I try to carve out hobbies that cannot check a “work” box. I am a firm believer in creating for the sake of expressing yourself. I want to get into watercolors or painting or ceramics or something that I'm never going to be good at. Because what I’m talking about is not about being good, it's just about doing that thing for the sake of expressing.
“I view my ADHD as sort of a gift now. There are still things that are frustrating about it, of course. But as a whole, I think, ‘Wow, this thing brings me much more good than it brings me difficulty.’”
IDM: So many of the things that you do for work are activities that many people consider self-care. Do you feel like you can still write or play an instrument, or is it viewed strictly as work in your mind now?
CW: If you paint, as soon as you start selling the paintings you're making, it can start to become a job and risks moving from creating for the sake of creating to a thing that you're doing for an ulterior motive.
I’ve always been a writer, but I hadn't sold anything. But then I started making money writing and it didn’t check that self-care box anymore — it's now a part of my work. Same goes for music. I used to play just for myself, but if I’m practicing guitar or writing music for something specific, suddenly it’s shifted. I do think it’s possible for me to play music and for it to sort of check both boxes… but it’s much more precarious. I think it’s important to have artistic pursuits that you’re just terrible at but adore doing.
“ I think because of the IDONTMIND platform and because of the work that I do, I have people in my life who expect me to get it right. I view that as a positive because it’s not just me holding myself accountable — it’s everyone I work with, everyone I’m related to, and everyone I’ve done this mental health work for. I feel like I would be betraying everything that I’m working for if I didn’t take care of myself.”
IDM: Is there anything that you know you should be doing more of and you just can't get yourself to do it?
CW: My gosh, if I could just snap my fingers and do all the things that I know are good for me — just think of what life could become. The first thing I think of is negative self-talk. It's a really big thing for me and I could do better pushing back at that.
I think we could all be more successful at recognizing not just the positive things that we could be doing more of, but also the negative things that we should cut from our lives. If we could reduce the negative and increase the positive, we would all stay so much healthier.
IDM: In talking about the negative things to cut out, you took a long break from using social media and recently you’ve been getting back into it. Have you noticed any feelings come up as you’ve hopped back on Instagram or Twitter? Or do you feel like you’re setting harder boundaries with how you use it?
CW: Yeah, that's a good question. I honestly feel like the time away only made the problems with social media more apparent to me. I still don’t use it much. I only really look at it if there is a specific thing I want to see, I don’t get on there just to scroll. I feel really, really detached from it, which I think is healthy. I'll go days without looking at it at all, and the thought doesn't even occur to me. But that first shift away from habitually checking it definitely had to be conscious and intentional, which is why I had to delete it and block it from my browser. I had to make it impossible.
IDM: What’s one of the biggest lessons you’ve learned about your own mental health?
CW: It took me a long time to get to a point where I recognized that ADHD was, in a way, the source of my creativity. It used to be something that was really frustrating for me, but now I see it differently. When I’m writing, I find ideas and inspiration in unusual places because my brain wanders. It’s almost like I have a greater openness of thought because of how my brain works. Beyond my control, my mind can tell stories and think of really out-there things. It all informs my creativity.
I tell people all the time, and my mom would back this up, I have never been bored in my entire life. I literally do not know what that feeling is. I have so many interests and ideas. I have never lacked ideas or things to work on or hobbies or activities. If anything, I do too many things. And I believe that’s another silver lining of how my brain works.
I view my ADHD as sort of a gift now. There are still things that are frustrating about it, of course. But as a whole, I think, “Wow, this thing brings me much more good than it brings me difficulty.” Yes, it was rough as a child not having it recognized and not learning the skills to cope and work through it until I was an adult. That was tough. I got in trouble a lot for not paying attention, or forgetting things, teased for things that weren’t really in my control. But now that I know what it is, I can recognize it, and I can let those little things go and move forward.
“We’re all the first domino in our own line. And you have to start there. No matter how much good you try to do with your family, your friends, your work, you have to start by taking care of yourself. Otherwise, what’s the point? If you can find the balance — that’s the ticket.”
IDM: Because you're so open about your mental health and because you're a mental health advocate, does it come naturally to prioritize your mental health now? Or do you think you really have to work on it?
CW: I think because of the IDONTMIND platform and because of the work that I do, I have people in my life who expect me to get it right. I view that as a positive because it's not just me holding myself accountable — it's everyone I work with, everyone I'm related to, and everyone I've done this mental health work for. I feel like I would be betraying everything that I'm working for if I didn’t take care of myself. I fail at that sometimes, and I've had to be picked up and I've had to be helped through it.
But no, I don't necessarily think it comes naturally. There's a feeling that comes with advocacy of needing to get it right. Working in mental health has opened my ability to commit to taking care of myself. Because it's always worth it. We're all the first domino in our own line. And you have to start there. No matter how much good you try to do with your family, your friends, your work, you have to start by taking care of yourself. Otherwise, what’s the point? If you can find the balance — that's the ticket.