Helping Your Friends And Family During A Tough Time

7 WAYS TO BE THERE FOR SOMEONE STRUGGLING WITH THEIR MENTAL HEALTH

A version of this article was originally published by Mental Health America.

Whether it’s a diagnosable mental health condition or a challenging time in our life that impacts our mental health, we all need a little help sometimes. It can be hard to know what the right thing to say or do is when a friend or a family member is going through a tough time, but we all struggle and we all know what pain, sadness, and struggle feel like.

For those moments where you’re not sure where to start, here are a few simple ways you can support someone you love and their mental health.

Offer to join them

When someone is going through a tough or uncertain time, their emotions can take over and leave them feeling paralyzed and unable to take care of life’s obligations. Offering to go with someone to help them take care of responsibilities like walking the dog, going to the grocery store, or taking them to doctor’s appointments can help them feel a sense of accomplishment and lift their spirits.

Put your personal opinions aside

To be truly supportive of someone, you need to put your personal opinions and biases aside. They may be struggling because of a mistake that they made, or you may think that they are overreacting, but you will never know what it is truly like to be that person at this moment, and criticism isn’t helpful to anyone’s recovery process.

Honor your promises

If you have offered your support to someone and told them you would do something, keep your word. When a person is struggling, the last thing they need is to feel abandoned by someone else. If you absolutely can’t honor your promise, make a sincere apology, and find another time that you can do what you said you would.

Ask how you can help

It can be tempting to just assume what would be helpful to someone who is struggling, but it’s always better to ask them what they need from you. If you ask and get a response like, “nothing, I’m fine,” offer up a few suggestions for things you would be willing to do — without being pushy. For example, you could offer to sit and watch a movie, cook them dinner, or pick up a few things for them at the store.

Try not to compare

If a friend or family member is going through a tough situation and they come to you for support, you might feel tempted to tell them about something that happened to you and how you were able to get through it. It’s okay to share similar experiences, but be careful not to compare. It can make someone feel like their pain isn’t valid. For example, if they are telling you about a breakup, don’t mention how you had a much harder divorce. Focus on what you did to cope with feelings of loss or loneliness.

Make sure you’re really listening

Active listening is different than just hearing what a person has to say. A good active listener:

puts everything aside and gives their complete attention to the person who is talking
asks open-ended questions to get more details about the topic that is being discussed.
takes moments throughout the conversation to summarize what they’ve been told and make sure they are understanding clearly.

Know when it’s out of your hands

Sometimes the support that you can offer won’t be enough. If you notice that your friend or loved one continues to struggle for weeks or months, they may be showing signs of a mental health condition and likely need professional help. Don’t be afraid to encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional and offer to help them find a provider if needed.

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If someone you care about is in immediate danger of taking suicidal action, seek help. Trained crisis counselors are available 24/7 by texting IDM to 741741 or call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.