8 tips to break free from perfectionism
It's time to overcome the pressure and celebrate your journey
By Mia Barnes
(Katerina May / Unsplash)
Many of us go to great lengths to be the best in what we do. Whether it’s a school exam, a work project or even just planning a simple surprise for a loved one, it's natural to want to perfect it. However, the pursuit of perfection can sometimes lead to a whole lot of stress and anxiety.
Perfectionism often involves setting unrealistically high standards and feeling immense pressure to meet them. Here are some strategies to help you move away from perfectionism and towards a healthier mindset:
1. Understand the root cause
To battle perfectionism, it’s important to figure out the cause of it first. Reflect on why you strive for excellence and fear failure. Here are three fundamental types of perfectionism to watch out for:
Self-oriented perfectionism: You put too much pressure on yourself by envisioning high standards and goals. Self-oriented perfectionists are too critical of their mistakes and have difficulty letting go of work.
Other-oriented perfectionism: Other-oriented perfectionism happens when you pressure other people to excel. For example, you tell a child to get good grades for a scholarship. At work, maybe you delegate critical responsibilities to someone’s workload and expect them to accomplish it alone. It creates a bubble where failure isn’t an option.
Socially-prescribed perfectionism: Socially-prescribed perfectionism is when cultural norms impose unrealistic standards. For example, our society can have unrealistic beauty standards that impact the average person’s mental health, especially women.
2. Celebrate your efforts
There are many times when you try your best, but it doesn’t work out. Most perfectionists tend to be incredibly critical of themselves and hyperfocusing on what went wrong. Self-criticism is closely associated with self-loathing, which may lead to depression and substance abuse. It also reinforces perfectionism, which creates an endless cycle.
Instead of fixating on outcomes, celebrate the effort you put into the task. Acknowledging your hard work can help reduce pressure and encourage a positive outlook — even if things don't go as planned. (We know, this may be easier said than done at first, but the more you practice celebrating yourself, the easier it becomes.)
3. Shift your mindset about mistakes
Mistakes are inevitable throughout life. Rather than fearing them, try to shift your mindset and look at them as learning opportunities. You get to be forgiving of yourself while fostering curiosity to improve.
You can also look at errors as a bump in the road. For example, about 44.6% of U.S. entrepreneurs were deterred by a fear of failure. Think of all the successful businesspeople who persevered despite the odds and succeeded, from Steve Jobs to Bill Gates.
4. Have manageable expectations
Daydreams are enjoyable from time to time, but they can also be dangerous. “Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens explores how people create expectations that can prevent them from experiencing reality and its joys. It also highlights the importance of expressing appreciation for what’s happening in the present and what one is capable of achieving.
Sometimes, you may simply set the bar too high for yourself. If you have self-oriented and other-oriented perfectionism, you may need to learn to set more reasonable expectations to ease your personal pressure.
5. Adjust your behaviors
There are a variety of behaviors you may need to try to pull back on actively. For example, some people procrastinate on a task because they already assume they won’t do it perfectly. Find ways to combat that, like breaking them down into smaller steps or setting a reward for finishing a project.
Another perfectionist-geared behavior is excessive checking. People like to review their work and tasks constantly to ensure they’re flawless. Set boundaries with this and learn to be happy with what you already have going on.
6. Dive into creativity
Battling perfectionism at school, work or home may be challenging, so try to shift to more creative exercises, without worrying about perfection. You can try to draw a portrait without focusing on making it neat and perfect.
Art is a beautiful form of expression because it doesn't treat mistakes as the end of the world. Instead, they’re treated as happy accidents you can use to add more meaning to a piece. Plus, it’s an excellent outlet for stress. Just remember to focus on the process of making the art and not stressing about creating the most beautiful piece of art.
7. Strive for progress
Another key to overcoming perfectionism is changing your goal. Most people want a flawless end product, but this can distract you from having a more meaningful journey. Strive to learn and grow more.
When you finish something, try to savor each piece of knowledge you discover along the way. If you’re trying to acquire a new skill, think of all the small tips and tricks that move you to be more than just a beginner.
You can also change the way you set your objectives. The SMART goals setup is perfect because it focuses on progress rather than perfectionism. Specify your goals while making them measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound.
8. Focus on finishing
Some perfectionists may start a project but give up in the middle if they feel like the result won’t be perfect. It’s OK to put imperfection into the world every once in a while! That’s just more room to grow in the future.
Remember that completing a task, a project, whatever it may be is better than being perfect because you still have something to represent all your efforts and growth. For most things, you can try again another time, in another way. From there, take what you’ve learned from your experience and finish stronger than ever.
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Perfectionism can sometimes get in the way of personal growth and success. But you can overcome perfectionist tendencies, appreciate your efforts, and prioritize progress over perfection. Remember, striving for improvement and embracing imperfections are key to a fulfilling and balanced life.
Mia Barnes is a health and wellness freelance writer with a passion for mental health, healthy living and self care. Mia is also the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Body+Mind magazine. Follow Mia and Body+Mind on Twitter and Instagram @bodymindmag!