YOUR GUIDE FOR WHEN YOU’RE FEELING TOO MUCH TOO FAST

Imagine this: a seemingly small thing happens with your partner — a quick comment, a glance, a minor mistake — and your emotions immediately skyrocket. Whether it’s with anger, frustration, tears, or any other strong emotion, you may experience that huge wave of feelings and react intensely and (often) without a filter. That’s emotional reactivity at its finest.

Emotional reactivity isn't inherently bad; it's a natural aspect of being human. But when it leads to frequent or intense reactions, it can be a huge challenge in your ability to communicate and your relationships. The key is managing these emotions effectively, allowing you to experience and express them healthily and constructively. Striking a balance is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being.

Let's dive into how we can gently bring those emotions back to a peaceful pace when we’re triggered.

Identify your triggers

While it may not be helpful in the moment, it’s definitely worth reflecting on what usually sends your emotions spiraling. Identifying your emotional triggers is huge in managing reactions, and it starts with some self-observation. Try keeping a journal to record moments when you feel emotionally overwhelmed, noting the specific situation and your feelings. Pay attention to physical cues like your heart racing or tension in your body — that can sometimes be easier to pinpoint than your emotions. You can also ask trusted friends or family, if you’re comfortable, to provide insights into the patterns they see that you may be too close to notice in yourself.

Take a quick pause

When you feel your emotions surging, stop and take a moment. Studies show taking this time to pause and assess the situation can prevent knee-jerk reactions and lead to more thoughtful responses.

Take a deep breath, slowly count to five, and ask yourself, "What am I feeling right now, and why?" This simple pause creates space between the trigger and your response, giving you a chance to understand your emotions and react more thoughtfully.

Try to see it from another perspective

Research shows that trying to understand another person’s perspective or viewpoint of the situation can reduce emotional reactivity and improve interpersonal relationships.

Next time you're in a tense situation, pause and imagine the scenario through the other person's eyes. Ask yourself, "What might they be thinking or feeling?" This exercise of consciously shifting your perspective can reduce emotional reactivity and build some empathy, leading to better understanding and communication.

Keep breathing

Never underestimate the calming effect of deep breathing. When emotions start to bubble up, take deep, slow breaths. This simple act can activate your body’s relaxation response, slowing down the emotional avalanche and helping you find your center. Seriously, don’t underestimate how powerful this can be in the moment.

Choose your battles

Finding the right balance between making sure you’re standing up for yourself and keeping your emotions in check can sometimes be challenging. But having an emotional response to something doesn’t always warrant a full-blown, gigantic reaction. Ask yourself if the situation truly deserves the energy you're about to expend. Sometimes, the most empowering move is to step back and let go, conserving your emotional energy for what truly matters.

Practice how you communicate

Just because you aren’t reacting in a huge way, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t explain how you’re feeling. When you’re expressing your emotions, use clear "I" statements like "I feel [emotion] when [situation occurs]" to communicate effectively with someone without blaming them. We know how hard it can be when you’re upset, but make sure you’re actively listening to truly understand the other person's perspective. If you’re overwhelmed, remember it’s okay to take some time apart and gather your thoughts. Keeping a clear goal of what you’re trying to communicate in your mind helps ensure your communication is effective, balanced, and respectful.

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Even with emotional ups and downs, knowing how to manage your reactions can lead to a whole lot of peace in your mind and your relationships. Next time you feel your emotions bubbling up, try these steps and remember to breathe!

6 ways to navigate your emotional reactivity