The Key to Suicide Prevention is Finding Your Anchor
HOW ONE WOMAN IS CHANGING LIVES WITH LITTLE BLUE BOXES
Imagine that you’re really struggling with your mental health. You feel completely hopeless and entirely on your own.
Now imagine you’re walking through a park and you see a little blue box with an anchor on the outside.
You open it, and there’s a message that says it’s for you. If you’re feeling lost, hopeless, or suicidal — this box is for you.
It’s the universe saying you’re needed in this world.
That’s exactly what Ali Borowsky’s goal is with Find Your Anchor. After seeing firsthand what the health care system was missing in suicide prevention resources, she began sending these blue boxes into the world for people who need them most.
Within each box, there’s a letter, a deck of cards entitled 52+ Reasons to Live, a list of suicide prevention resources, and posters with hopeful messaging. Each item is meant to leave box-receivers feeling encouraged and knowing that their life is worth living.
Ali started this grassroots movement completely on her own, and she’s sent out thousands of boxes to help people — relying primarily on donations. Through Find Your Anchor, she’s building a community of people who are trying to prevent suicide and, in the process, she’s giving hope to so many people struggling.
Here’s what she had to say about it.
Ali Borowsky, founder of Find Your Anchor
IDM: How’s your mental health today?
Ali: It's great. I'm doing really well. I'm excited about all the opportunities and everything ahead. And it's funny, I go to therapy, and I consider it maintenance. Like when you go in and you get an oil change. Why not even when things are good? Just checking in, you know? So yeah, things are great!
IDM: Would you mind sharing your own mental health journey and how Find Your Anchor came to be?
Ali: Yes, absolutely. So I've personally struggled with depression and I've actually survived multiple suicide attempts. Everything that I encountered in the mental health world was just so sterile. There were just white pamphlets with 1-800-NUMBERS and it just felt so corporate. This is one of the most personal things that someone can go through, but I just felt like another statistic.
I couldn't find what I wanted or needed in the world. So I thought, I'm going to create it. Find Your Anchor is, in a lot of ways, me being grateful to be in a better space and wanting to pay it forward to others. I started it in December of 2012, and we made it an official nonprofit in the beginning of 2018.
“I wanted to create a network and a community of strangers who care. Because if we can convince somebody that a stranger cares about you, maybe it won’t be so hard to believe that your friends and family do, as well.”
I've really kind of fluctuated with my own mental health within that time. The last time I was hospitalized was in 2016 and there were times where I really felt like a hypocrite doing this work. But I always use this one example as kind of a metaphor for life: I think of the Rogaine man. He's struggled with his own baldness, and it gave him the credibility to speak about it. He spoke from experience. If you haven’t struggled, then you don't really know the ins and outs. I created these boxes because I have struggled and I saw firsthand what was lacking and what I wanted or I needed.
IDM: The suicide rate is staggering right now, and it continues to grow. What do you think is causing that?
Ali: As a society, we’re becoming more distracted and more disconnected. In the height of my darkness, one of my fundamental core beliefs was that nobody would care. I couldn't see the resources around me, and I couldn't feel the love that I was surrounded by. I just felt isolated and alone. And with Find Your Anchor, I wanted to create a network and a community of strangers who care. Because if we can convince somebody that a stranger cares about you, maybe it won't be so hard to believe that your friends and family do, as well.
I would say 75%, if not 80%, of all of our box requests come from people who are personally struggling. But we also have messengers. They’re the friends, family, and professionals that get a box on behalf of somebody else — sometimes we'll send them anonymously. And we've started getting more and more messages from people saying ‘I received this box and it's amazing, but I didn't request it. Can you tell me who sent it?’ And one of my favorite responses to send back is that if there wasn't a name, consider it a gift from the universe. There are people all over the world that care about you.
“An anchor is anything that someone can hold on to for another day or another minute. It doesn’t have to be groundbreaking. It can be a smile from a stranger, it can be steak tacos, it can be your band releasing a new album – literally anything and everything.”
IDM: There’s a lot of care and thoughtfulness that goes into each thing you put into the Find Your Anchor box, how did you decide what to include?
Ali: This box is truly a piece of me. From the moment that they open the lid, there’s a message saying that if you're feeling lost, hopeless, or suicidal, this is for you. If not, leave it for someone else in need. There's a list of resources with people from all over the world waiting to talk to you. But it’s just really speaking to the person. There's a letter saying if you weren't here we would feel a shift. We need you here.
There’s also a deck of cards, the 52+ Reasons to Live, and those are such a core of Find Your Anchor — it's a deck full of anchors. An anchor is anything that someone can hold on to for another day or another minute. It doesn't have to be groundbreaking. It can be a smile from a stranger, it can be steak tacos, it can be your band releasing a new album – literally anything and everything. It’s just realizing that anchors are everywhere, you just have to start looking and finding the things that bring you joy and then just start stringing them together.
IDM: What's the best response you've gotten from somebody after receiving one of these boxes?
Ali: Verbatim, someone said, ‘Just wanted to let you know that you guys saved a life today’. I mean I’ve had pages and pages of emails and messages of people saying something similar. Just last week a woman said, ‘I'm pretty sure one of these beautiful boxes saved my life yesterday’.
You know, just one of those testimonials keeps us going, and it solidifies why we're doing the work that we are. People always want to know statistics and the data, but how do you quantify that? The data takes away the story, you know?
“I want a box on every college campus and in every school. I want them in every community library. I want them in the hands of every member of Congress. I’m very aware that those are massive goals. But people everywhere are struggling. ”
IDM: What's your hope for Find Your Anchor, moving forward?
Ali: I want a box on every college campus and in every school. I want them in every community library. I want them in the hands of every member of Congress. I'm very aware that those are massive goals. But people everywhere are struggling. And I’m just trying to make these boxes available for those who are struggling — I didn't want to add another barrier to resources. So these boxes are free, but the way that we keep that promise is we partner with individuals or organizations that are able to help donate for the people who can’t.
There are so many barriers to mental health resources. In 2016, during my last hospital stay, I got a bill for $14,000. And I started calling it my life tax. Is that the fee that I have to pay to stay alive? Who puts the number on that? I got out of the hospital and now I have this excess financial burden. That was part of what put me there in the first place. There's a lot that’s wrong with the mental health system, and I just wanted others to know that real people care. And you don't have to know the person. You don't have to pay a copay in order to get some help.
IDM: On your website, there's a section where you say that it’s up to each and every one of us to build the Find Your Anchor movement. What actions would you suggest people take, outside of ordering a box?
Ali: I think just sharing that this is a resource that's available. And to tell someone that you care and you love them. In all of our boxes, I handwrite a note, and I encourage people to write notes to strangers and leave them somewhere for people to see. People have said that finding a Find Your Anchor box organically or getting a note in general, feels like a gift from the universe. It was put there for them to find. And that just goes so far. In those moments where you're just looking for something — anything — to anchor you.
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Find Your Anchor boxes are always available for those in need. If you’re in need of a box or know someone who is, you can order a box here. These boxes are free for those that are struggling because others donate, so if you’re inspired by the work of Find Your Anchor and you want to become a part of the movement, you can donate here.
One of the most serious signs of a mental health condition is thinking about suicide. If you’re thinking about hurting yourself or others, safety needs to be your first priority. Call 911 or go to the nearest hospital. You can also call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or text IDM to 741741 to reach a trained Crisis Counselor at Crisis Text Line.