Ask a Therapist: Black Mental Health
YOUR QUESTIONS ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH ANSWERED BY MINAA B.
Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona / Unsplash
Our Ask a Therapist series gets answers to your questions about mental health from real therapists. Follow @idontmind on Instagram for more and a chance to ask questions of your own.
Today’s therapist is Minaa B. She’s an NYC based licensed psychotherapist. She works in private practice providing wellness services to clients with different complex mental health issues and she works as a mental health advocate and freelance writer for various publications.
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I’m Afro-Latina and I feel left out of my Black community because I don’t look like them. What can I do to feel included?
It's important to understand that being African-American and being of Latinx descent are not the same, and because anti-blackness is prominent in many Latinx communities, Black people are often on guard with walls up due to constant experiences of racial trauma from PoC, and therefore, it can leave folks with Black heritage feeling excluded from the movement. It's going to be your job to continue to show up anyway. This is not about inclusivity, it's about recognizing the symptoms of racial trauma, and when a group of people is constantly traumatized due to the color of their skin, it's important to recognize the privileges you may hold, especially when you say "I don't look like them."
Do the work of understanding issues like colorism in the Black and Latinx community, while also understanding the privileges you might have when you can identify as Black but in the same breath say, I don't look Black. Also, what does blackness mean to you? Is it a culture that you can put on and take off, or is it an everyday experience? You are who you are, and there is space for you to hold both your Black and Latin heritage, but it's also important to educate yourself on the divide within these two communities, and lean in, support, amplify and continue to show up for black people all year round.
As a Black girl, why do I feel so powerless even with the protests and people fighting for change?
Because Black people are constantly bearing the responsibility of trying to change a system they never created in the first place. White supremacy is exhausting, and it's also very daunting in this country, however, we as Black people still harness the power and ability to create change in this country, we just have to know where to start. A lot of the time when we feel powerless it's because we are trying to tackle too many things at once, or we are trying to tackle things that are out of our control. Start where you are, with what you know and what you have. For example, you might not be able to change your organization’s approach on how to dismantle systemic racism, but you can bring change by having conversations with co-workers, making suggestions on where to start, and challenging racist ideologies. You also even have the power to choose where you devote your time, effort, and energy and can consider if this place of work is where you want to continue to invest in.
When we feel powerless, we have to ask ourselves, what am I trying to take on right now? Is it something out of my control? If so, I will continue to feel hopeless and powerless. Write down the areas in your life where you do have control over and start there.
Is it okay to be relieved that people are fighting for us Black people, even if some of it is violent?
Our history is rooted in violence. America has always been violent toward Black people, and that even includes Black children. White America needed video footage of violence taking place against a Black person before they finally uttered a word about racism in this country and the fact that Black lives actually do matter. Violence has a way of forcing shut eyes open. So is your relief valid? Yes, rest in it.
What are some self-care tips for people protesting and fighting for racial justice?
Rest, take a nap, drink water, disconnect from social media, stop having conversations with people who are determined to remain racist, eat a whole meal, go for a walk and get some Vitamin D, do reflective journal writing, remind yourself that you cannot control other people's behaviors, take a day or a week off from work, watch your favorite show, connect with nature, do things that bring you joy. Self-care is vital right now for the black community and there are many ways to take care of yourself during this time. We must remember that we are fighting to change a system that we didn't create, and because of that this work is exhausting, so get the rest that you need. Take care of yourself.
I’m overwhelmed by white people reaching out and asking how they can help. How do I tell them to give me space?
This is an important time to implement boundaries. Boundaries look like telling white people, "I don't want to have this conversation right now." Or, "I can't teach or educate you on this topic, but I encourage you to google the questions that you are asking me." Or, "Thanks for reaching out, the best way you can help is by giving me space. I don't have the emotional capacity to engage in these types of conversations right now."
Make your boundary clear and known, and don't feel the urge to over-explain yourself. What you need and want for your peace of mind is valid, and must be respected. If people cannot hold space for this boundary, I encourage you to take whatever measures you feel you may need to take to have your space be honored and held sacred.
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Content is for informational purposes only and is not meant to serve as medical advice or to replace consultation with your physician or mental health professional.