What is masking?
WHAT IS MASKING? AND WHY DO PEOPLE TRY TO HIDE THEIR SYMPTOMS?
By Jackie Menjivar
(Alex Iby / Unsplash)
TikTok has done it again, introducing us to new (or maybe just newly popular) terms and concepts in the mental health space. If your FYP looks anything like ours, you may have come across videos about “masking.” Some are silly, some are serious, and some are set to startlingly accurate song mash-ups.
It turns out, masking is something that a lot of people living with mental health conditions do without even realizing it.
So let’s dive into it. What is masking? What does it look like? And how can you cope when you feel the need to constantly mask? Here’s what you need to know, with some insight from Theresa Nguyen, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Chief Program Officer at Mental Health America.
What is masking?
Masking describes the act of hiding or suppressing symptoms of a mental health condition. People usually mask in situations and environments where they are expected to act in a socially normative way — like at school or work, or when meeting new people. Sometimes that means copying the behavior of people around you to blend in, or swapping your usual behaviors with ones that seem more “normal.”
“It's good to use a word that resonates with you. There are lots of different words that represent the way we cope or suppress or manage our thoughts and behaviors. For young people, the word ‘masking’ resonates because it really does feel like putting on another persona,” says Theresa Nguyen. “It represents the way we're expected to present ourselves in a way that's palatable to society.”
What can masking look like?
When a person masks, they’re acting like they don’t have a mental health condition. A lot of times, it’s more about what you don’t do rather than what you do. For example, a person living with anxiety may learn how to hide nail biting, or a person living with ADHD may try not to fidget or talk too much. A person living with autism may avoid stimming or talking about their special interests.
Sometimes, it’s about acting counter to how you feel inside. A person living with social anxiety may feel pressure to talk to lots of people even if it makes them uncomfortable. A person living with depression may put on a smile and appear bright while hiding their real feelings.
Why do people mask?
Some people feel like they have to mask their mental health condition to fit in. A student might mask their ADHD symptoms in the classroom because they’re worried about being disruptive. Another person may mask their anxiety disorder symptoms at work because they don't want anyone to doubt their leadership abilities.
Stigma is at the root of masking. People with mental health conditions can’t control how people react to their symptoms. Changing their own behavior (when possible) may feel like the safer option.
“When you have uncontrollable thoughts, those thoughts spill over to a physiological need to express those internalized feelings. The way that these manifest can be hard to control for people,” says Theresa. “People might make comments about our actions, so then we internalize that shame about it. I should feel bad or guilty because I just want to or need to do this at this moment.”
What mental health conditions are most often associated with masking?
According to Theresa, the term masking has historically been associated with autism and ADHD, although nowadays it's used by people living with all kinds of mental health conditions.
“A lot of people with ADHD have the need or the desire to fidget as a means to control the hyperactivity that's happening in their brain. For a lot of history, people with ADHD have been yelled at about their coping skills, like the use of fidgets or things to help them stay focused or to put energy somewhere,” says Theresa.
“A lot of autism treatment includes social skills training. Rather than educating the public about what it means to have autism and to be friends with someone with autism, we've trained people with autism to normalize their behavior to some standardized norm.”
Is masking good or bad?
That’s complicated. Masking can get tiring for sure. It takes a lot of energy to suppress such a big part of your health. It can feel like you aren’t being your true self, and it may come with feelings of fear or shame.
But sometimes masking is necessary to keep you safe or help you maintain relationships. It can protect you from people who don’t understand your symptoms and will respond negatively to them. It can help you hold down a job, navigate social situations, and connect with other people.
“We are constantly negotiating how to take care of ourselves and be true to ourselves while also being in a relationship with other people,” says Theresa. “What I see on TikTok that's so awesome is that it's really reshaping the narrative about this. As we accept people for the beauty of our entire expression of our human selves, we acknowledge that we don't need to fit in a mold, and we can be diverse and be our true selves.”
What can you do if masking feels exhausting?
Find your space to release. There may be certain people who feel safe to un-mask with or physical places where you can let it out. Anchor yourself with them, and take a break when you need it.
Long term, you can also try to spread awareness and build understanding of mental health conditions. Educating people about symptoms will help create a world where they’re more accepted. If it’s safe to disclose your mental health condition, talking about it can help people around you understand your symptoms and behaviors and ease the pressure to mask.
—
When it comes to masking, there’s no right or wrong answer. Everyone learns to manage their mental health condition in different ways, and everyone’s circumstances are unique. Just like you shouldn’t feel ashamed of your symptoms, there’s no shame in doing what you have to to survive.