The colors I did not choose

“MY LOVE HAS BURNED RED AND DROWNED IN BLUE BUT MY RAINBOW LOVE HIDES IN THE SHADOWS”

By Jo Oluwatosin

i was born black

i didn’t choose my color

nor was i aware of black

until we migrated from Nigeria to U.S.A.

from one of many

to the only one of many

in a predominantly caucasian suburbia

racism handed me black on a bleeding platter of invisibility

and negative visibility

a heavy platter to carry

a huge burden to accept

my community cleaned my wounds

symbiotically carrying each other’s platters

and celebrating black

the color i did not choose

i was born queer

i didn’t choose my sexuality

but i spent twenty years of my life

hoping it could be prayed away

my love has burned red

and drowned in blue

but my rainbow love

hides in the shadows

protects her pride from sorrows

the hope of the American dream

only an illusion from a nationality

the green white green

i did not choose

fourteen years in prison

for the rainbow love

i did not choose

in the land of stars and stripes

my queerness at the end of the storm of fear

the sunrise is here

my rainbow pride

true love

burning all the colors of the rainbow

instead of drawing

i fall

in rainbow love with all of me

all the odds standing against me

BLACK QUEER WOMAN

i am more than a wife and a mother

i deserve respect

gold for the privilege i will never have

giving myself the gold crown i deserve

and accepting the colors i did not choose.

Jo Oluwatosin is writer, poet, artist, and chemical engineer. Born in Ibadan, Nigeria, Adelegan emigrated to the United States at a young age with her family and has moved her whole life which is why she is a self-proclaimed citizen of her suitcase. She has lived in 5 out of the 7 continents in the world and counting. She is a Howard Alumni with a BS. in Chemical Engineering and a Crisis Text-line Volunteer. Earliest memory of writing poetry was at the age of 8. She dipped her toe in the writing pool sparingly but started taking writing seriously four years ago. Along with the uphill battle of her mental health, she lost everything and writing became her therapy, writing saved her. It started off with journaling and then developed into something bigger than her, poetry. As she embarked on her journey of recovery, she started to write a lot more poetry, falling in love with the genre. Hiba Azeem helped her in her mental health journey and her poetry book, “i love you” is the first poetry book she ever read, and it inspired her and made her feel seen. A fellow woman of color of similar age writing and publishing a poetry book that she could understand, empathize with, and complete was her writing catalyst.

The IDONTMIND Writing Workshop brought two of her passion projects together, mental health and writing and it was a no-brainer to apply to get a seat in the class. She aspires to publish her first poetry book and tackle topics on mental health, connection and the human experience, race, and culture. She hopes you connect with her writing piece, a piece of her.

The colors I did not choose: Black queer woman

“MY LOVE HAS BURNED RED AND DROWNED IN BLUE BUT MY RAINBOW LOVE HIDES IN THE SHADOWS”