I’m singer/songwriter Andy Grammer, and here’s a piece of my mind
ANDY TALKS SELF-CARE, LEARNING TO LOVE HIMSELF OVER THE PAST YEAR AND A HALF, AND HOW HIS MENTAL HEALTH IS INSPIRING HIS NEW MUSIC
By Kristina Benoist
Welcome to our Piece Of My Mind series where experts, advocates, and amazing people from all backgrounds and professions share a snapshot of their mental health. We dive into their self-care routines, how they balance their work with their mental health, and how they manage those really bad days. We’re sharing this piece of their mind so that you can hopefully find some inspiration in your own mental health journey moving forward.
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You may know singer/songwriter Andy Grammer from his hopeful, upbeat, and incredibly catchy songs, like “Honey I’m Good” and “Keep Your Head Up”. He’s found incredible success as a musician and is recognized across the world.
After being forced to slow down his busy and high-energy schedule because of COVID-19, Andy had to come to terms with his mental health in a way that he hadn’t before. The struggles that he faced over the past year and a half are now inspiring his music and helping him relate to his listeners in a new way.
We sat down with Andy to learn more about how he's learned to manage his mental health, what serves as “emotional aspirin” in his daily life, and what it was like for him to dive deep into his mental health journey while writing his new music.
This is Andy Grammer, and here’s a piece of his mind.
IDONTMIND (IDM): How is your mental health today? What’s your headspace like?
Andy Grammer (AG): I think I'm doing pretty good? I say that with a question mark, but for the most part I’m doing okay! In the past couple years, I’ve definitely been way worse. I just got off of a couple days of travel, which is really sweet. And I got to play some music, which always fills up my soul.
IDM: What does a normal day look like for you right now?
AG: Well, that's so funny because I think part of what threw me into a depression over the last year and a half was having such a radical change of what a normal day looked like for me. A normal week would be traveling somewhere to play music for a lot of people. And then there was a season where the normal day was to wake up and come into the office for about eight hours and then go home. That was really, really hard.
But a normal day right now? It changes a lot. Yesterday I flew home from New York because I had been performing. Usually it's a lot of go, go, go, run, travel. For most of the last year and a half though it's been a lot of routine — and I struggle with routine. I’ve really had to work at slowing down and being okay with having days and weeks of the same routine.
“I feel like the inability to get quiet with myself and my mind was something that I really had to work on over the past year and a half. So I started going to therapy and really coming to terms with who I am.”
IDM: What was your first experience really thinking about mental health?
AG: I think when everything stopped with COVID. That was one of my first real experiences thinking about it. I'm someone who is moving a lot — things are always happening. I have always been good at keeping myself distracted, and I hadn’t really connected too deeply with what's happening within myself. So when everything stopped and there was no way to be distracted and no way to keep moving and running around, I had to just deal with how I was feeling with myself.
That was really intense and difficult. It felt like there was a lot of pressure inside me and there was no way to let any of the air out. The way that I usually let it out is like, ‘Oh, let's go hang out with 10 people. Or let's go play a show for thousands of people.’ I think there's still a lot of good in that. But I feel like the inability to get quiet with myself and my mind was something that I really had to work on over the past year and a half. So I started going to therapy and really coming to terms with who I am.
IDM: So much of your music is very positive and cheerful. Does that ever put pressure on you to always maintain that persona — even if your mental health isn’t at one hundred percent?
AG: I think so, definitely. The last couple songs that I've released are focused a little bit more on caring less about presenting myself in a way that will be accepted. That's been a cool experience. Whatever song you're promoting has a big effect on your life, because it's what you're talking about every day and what you're running around showing to people. To have the last two songs be all about going deeper into myself and not caring as much about what other people think has been really fun. I think it’s really beneficial to me.
It's something I’ve had to work on because I'm a huge people-pleasing guy. I'll be backstage getting ready to go out and thinking, ‘All right, what do these people need? What's the vibe tonight? How do I make sure I deliver for them?’ And because these two new songs right now, ‘Damn It Feels Good to Be Me’ and ‘Love Myself’ are in my brain, I'm a little bit less worried and I'm more like, ‘I'm going to give you what I am and I hope that works.’ And the show has been going really great.
IDM: Do you feel like this is the first time that your mental health has really influenced the songs that you’re writing or has it always been an underlying part of your music?
AG: I don't think I've dove this deep before. I lost my mom when I was 25, and I went through a pretty hard time, and a lot of my music from that time focused on grief. But as far as the need to be happy with yourself and the importance of being in a great mental state? Yeah, no, this is really my first time doing that.
To me, being quiet with myself is like leg day at the gym. It's hard. There's a lot of other things that come more naturally to me. Now the art and music and writing about it is really not hard. The art part is not hard. Just the actual act of doing it is hard. Songwriting about what I'm going through has always been my lifeline. And it was exciting during the writing process, specifically for ‘Love Myself,’ where I was sitting at the piano and having all the same feelings that I would have if I was writing a love song to someone new — awkwardness, excitement, confusion. I've never done that before. And now that I've put the song out and people are responding to it, I feel pretty confident that it's the right place to be digging into at the moment.
“I think there’s just a tide, especially with the phones and social media and the way the world is moving so fast. And unless you’re creating space to feel a certain way that will then make you feel better, you’re just going to keep going down the river as it will take you.”
IDM: What are a few ways that you practice self-care and how did you find them? How did you realize that they worked for you?
AG: I think you have to be proactive, that's what I found with self-care. If I don't make that plan, then I will just fall into doing all of the things that lead me to feel unhappy. Is that a lack of self discipline or what? I don't know. I think there's just a tide, especially with the phones and social media and the way the world is moving so fast. And unless you’re creating space to feel a certain way that will then make you feel better, you're just going to keep going down the river as it will take you.
MEDITATION
I try to create space for meditation. I've been trying to memorize prayers. I'm a Baha'i, it's a world religion based on the unity of religion. And there are some incredible writings in the Baha'i faith. I’ve memorized this really sweet prayer that I say about five times a day. And that always brings me back to center. Usually, it makes me feel good pretty quickly — almost like an emotional aspirin.
GETTING OUTSIDE
I find that being outside, especially going on walks or hikes, has a lot of mental benefits for me. And going on a run is always really helpful for me.
SPIRITUALITY
I really tune into my spirituality, and I try to zoom out of myself whenever I feel stressed or overwhelmed. It always makes me feel happy. Like, ‘Oh, I'm stressed about this thing right now,’ but if I zoom out to the idea that I'm a soul in the Baha'i context – it's not just about this one moment. It takes the pressure off a little bit. So connecting back to spirituality gives me a lot.
IDM: Is there anything that you know you should be doing more of and you just can't get yourself to do it?
AG: Man, right now I have a four-year-old and a one-year-old. This might sound like an excuse, but I do really well working out in the morning and it's just really hard to find out how to work out in the morning with the two of them at this age.
I haven't cracked that code yet, but I know that would make me happier if I could wake up and work out for 30 minutes. So at the moment I'm not on the best workout schedule, but there are seasons of that. I'm sure I'll get back into it. Basically I'm blaming my lack of cardio on my children, which is not cool!
“My natural state, I think, is a happy puppy zone...And then these big moments occur where I have to prioritize my mind. I’m actually really grateful for those moments.”
IDM: So does it come naturally to prioritize your mental health now? Or do you think you really have to work on it?
AG: I have to work at it. If I wasn’t taken as low as I was during this pandemic, I don't think I ever would have prioritized my mental health. My natural state, I think, is a happy puppy zone. It always has been. And then these big moments occur where I have to prioritize my mind. I'm actually really grateful for those moments.
Like with the passing of my mother, I went, ‘Oh wow, this is deep and intense sadness.’ Therefore, I can understand other people’s sadness. And I think the last year and a half is like, ‘Oh, depression and real mental struggle.’ I now feel closer to the people that experience these feelings — which is really valuable and important too. It really helps me dig deeper into myself and my music. Sometimes I even need the reminders in my music too, honestly. I was just in New York and I heard ‘Keep Your Head Up’ on the radio, and I was like, ‘Wow, I need that right now. Thanks old me.’